Not proud of how I acted earlier tonight towards my oldest kiddo. Today has been, well, shit. First day back to school for my oldest and back to work for me over the long weekend. Today, I was notified that the company I work for is doing sitewide layoffs. My department is safe for a couple more months, but I have to start job hunting all over again to make sure we're okay when I do get laid off. Not something I wanted to find out at 8 o'clock this morning but at least my manager gave me a heads up.Then while I'm on my lunch break, I get a call from my oldest daughter's school - her brand new shoes came apart during recess and her teacher had to go through last year's lost and found to find her a pair of suitable shoes.When I got off work, I figured I would "surprise" my kids with McDonald's for dinner (I know it's not the best thing for them but I figured it would make my 9 year old's day a little better) and my fucking card gets declined at McDonald's! I keep my cool until we get home (all while my kids are pouting and upset they didn't get the food I stupidly promised them) and check my bank account. This is what I'm looking at. I thought I had at least a few dollars to get us through this week, but nope, car insurance came out a couple of days early. Well fuck me, I don't get paid again until the 13th. So the next couple of weeks are going to suck for us.I make a quick dinner so my 2 year old can quit saying "Mommy, I hungry!" 9 year is sulking the whole time.She's still upset over her shoes falling apart and asks me when can I get her a new pair. I just sighed and said I don't know, it will probably be when I get paid again. I'm already feeling like absolute crap I can't go out and just get her a new pair of cheap shoes to last her until I get a full paycheck. 9 year old gets a little testy and says that her best friend's mom would buy her new shoes no problem. I snapped at her and told her I'm trying my best and maybe she should be a little more grateful for what she has.I know snapping at her what not the best thing to do. She went to her room and I felt awful after it. I fed the 2 year old, got her situated with some coloring books and went to apologize to my 9 year old. I told her I was sorry for snapping at her and explained to her my job situation and how I'm stressed over that (didn't tell her how I have no idea how I'm going to get back and forth to work and her to school or her sister to daycare for the next two weeks, because I don't want her worrying about that)I just feel so awful over it. Right now I don't know what I'm going to do. I know I'm going to have to go to the food bank (if they're even open) to make sure we have groceries to get us through until next payday. I'm going to go to Goodwill and the other thrift shops in my area to price out how much shoes will be. At least I can take some comfort that all of our bills are paid until the utilities are updated, but at least we have a roof over our head for the next month. Their bellies are full tonight and while I'm stressed to the point of giving myself a tension headache, my kids are happy and I am thankful for that. Now to get through these next two weeks and things will be okay again. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/32nRPSP
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