How would you handle this? My daughter's dad and I disagree about appropriate discipline.

My daughter is 9 and has what I would call some social deficits. She doesn't seem to integrate well with her peer group at school, or display the desire for inclusion that is typical of her age. She's always been very independent, often preferring to read or play by herself rather than participate in group activities. She is at an age where she is starting to notice her classmates forming close friend circles, though, and she does feel sad and left out. I know it will only get harder as she enters middle school and up, so for the past few years I've been doing what I can to help her learn good social skills and form friendships with her classmates, scheduling playdates and keeping her in extracurricular activities like theater and Girl Scouts. It's a process, but I can definitely see her confidence improving.Last year she also had some behavioral issues in the classroom, mostly stemming from not paying attention or being disrespectful. I don't think she means to be rude, but she is very blunt and has a tendency to speak her mind without considering other people's feelings. She is also sensitive, so I try to turn these situations around and ask her how she would feel if someone said that to or about her, which I believe is helping her build empathy. Her teacher last year also strongly recommended more social interaction with classmates outside of school as a way to fix some of her behavioral problems, as she agrees with me that her problems mostly stem from not having enough social awareness and mindfulness of others.When the behavior issues started, her dad wanted to take away things like birthday parties, after-school activities, and playdates. In his very old-school view, kids who keep getting in trouble at school don't get to go to birthday parties, etc. Typical grounding. While I see where he is coming from, in my opinion this is the worst thing we could do if we want to improve her behavior. To me, most of her behavior issues can be traced back to that lack of care or awareness of others, and it would be a huge mistake to react by taking away her opportunities to practice and develop good interpersonal skills. I'd rather take away other things that she enjoys that won't interfere with her development, like youtube videos or comic books.He thinks I'm being way too lenient. I think he's being short-sighted and draconian. We are not together, by the way, which makes it even more difficult in some ways to get on the same page. Who is right here? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/30Ttvba