How much responsibility and independence should an 8 year old have?

Hi! I live with my SO and his 8 year old daughter. I've lived with them since she was 5. I'm starting to think my partner's enabling behavior is inhibiting 8 year old's growth and independence.When she was 5,6, etc he did pretty much everything for her, which was normal because she was so young. But she's almost 9 now, and... well here are some examples:He waits on her hand and foot as if he's a waiter in a restaurant. If daughter is on the sofa watching TV, and my partner is in another room reading, daughter will yell "Daddy! Can you bring me some water!" and he immediately gets up, walks to the kitchen, and brings her the water bottle in the fridge. I guess this was reasonable when she was 5, but she will be 9 in October. I think she is able to walk 20 feet into the kitchen, open the fridge, and take out her water bottle... right? This also happens with snacks during the day. She'll yell "Daddy, I'm hungry! Can I have a banana?" and he will stop what he's doing, get up, grab her a banana from the living room table (which is literally 2 feet from where she's playing), go to the kitchen and cut it into bite-size slices, and then bring it to her in the living room with a plate and fork. She can literally sit on the sofa all day and he will do everything for her.Sometimes he still helps her wipe after pooping. I didn't even realize how strange this was until I told my mom about it and she freaked out. She'll be in the bathroom, finish doing her business, and yell "Daddy, I need some help!" and he comes in and wipes her butt for her. I asked my partner when he thinks this will end and said nearly 9 is way too old for this, what about when she's in public, etc, but he seemed to have no problem with it.He cleans up after her. If she makes a big mess in the living room doing arts and crafts, he does make her mostly clean it herself. But he goes into her bedroom every day and makes her bed for her, organizes her desk, picks up her toys, etc. She has no role in helping.Beyond this, I'm noticing some things lately that are starting to really bother me. For example:He lets her watch pretty much unlimited TV/Tablet. Literally like 5 hours on the tablet and when I'm like "hey isn't that too much tablet?" he says "ok you can watch TV now, but no more tablet"He takes her to get an ice cream almost every afternoon, about an hour before dinner. She then has no appetite for dinner. She basically has ice cream for dinner.Anyway I think I need to have a discussion with him. Mostly about independence and doing things for herself.What is normal for an 8 and a half year old? She's not a baby anymore, right? I'm pretty sure at 9 I was making myself frozen dinners and helping myself to stuff in the fridge. I can't imaging yelling at my parents to fetch me water... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2L5u2m7