
tl;dr Teen is having breakdowns because her alcoholic father is not contacting her from rehab. I am going to court Tuesday because dad is leaving rehab early for the second time in a month. Am modifying custody to no-contact. Daughter is becoming suspicious and wants her dad back even though he is extremely abusive. She can not wait for his arrival home. How can I help her see this is a bad living condition?I have posted in the past about my teen having an alcoholic father.He abused our child in the past and I was unaware of this. Step-mom has done a good job of gas lighting her until recently. Step-mom moved out of his house and left our child alone with her father during split custody.His drinking increased. Ex has thrown things, abused the dog, and crawled into our child's bed drunk in the middle of the night on many occasions to cry about his wife.He was ordered by employer to rehab a month ago for driving drunk. He signed out after 6 days and showed up here demanding our child. I trusted step-mom for an hour visit as our child was also in the middle and they just decided to knock on my door.Step-mom left her alone with my ex who acted erratic and started crying.Our child returned home here and was distraught. She threatened suicide and I called 911. She was placed in a psych ward for 11 days where she admitted to abuse by her father. My ex went right back to drinking.He went back to rehab and decided to sign out early today again before one month of completion. He demands to see her AGAIN today and we are in hiding.During his stay in rehab, his wife decided to act as if everything is "fine". She demanded contact with our child in the psych ward (denied) and has no custody rights. She became irate and called our child's school to find out if/when she was released from the psych ward. She texted me nasty messages that she "knows" she is home and demanded visitation. She called me a liar when I had my sick child at the Pediatrician's office last week stating she knows for a fact "her voice isn't even raspy".I did not answer any text. She then went as far as to email our child's school-issued tablet and said to her "your mom is keeping you from contacting your dad" and provided numbers to him in rehab. I have been able to block her email through school administration.My child is irate. I have been trying to protect her this entire time from her father, but she has only seen me as a "liar" and tells me she "just wants her dad".I have explained in long long talks in detail about alcohol and addiction. I have her in intense therapy. I am in AA to better explain this to her.She really let me have it today. She told me I am useless for not calling all the rehab facilities in the area to find out where her father is (released). She demands to speak to him any way possible and believes he is a hero. She even told me it's okay that he threw a pan at his wife because "that's what drunk people do".I can not convince her that dad may be sick and possibly abusive. Meanwhile, he is texting my phone asking "can I have her overnight"? This isn't even his weekend in the custody agreement. I am not replying and there is no way I would allow this.A lawyer is involved and court is Tuesday morning. There is a petition for emergency relief that will take her entirely away from her father until he can maintain outpatient rehab. She will absolutely lose it over this and blame me for any decision made in court.How can I stop being the bad guy? She worships everything about her father, mostly due to her step-mom gas lighting her for years. She stood in the kitchen today and blamed me for being "so mean" to dad and making him drink and told me I turned him into an alcoholic.Please, someone help (also posted to legal advice). I appreciate any help. I am so afraid they are going to just show up here in the middle of the night and take her. Thank you. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2zhtZvK
No comments:
Post a Comment