Good morning. I am a parent. I want to respect the rules of the group and if this post breaks any rule please let me know and I can remove it. I'm posting here because it's parenting related and maybe others here can share some of their experiences whether directly or indirectly involved.The divorce from my ex wife was settled two years ago. I have time with my son for one overnight visit a week and every other weekend. My child is four. The last few months when he's been with me he's says things like, "mommy says you're a liar, why did you take all mommy's money, I saw you hit mommy." None of these are true. I've never been charged or arrested for DV. And in short, there is written documentation from the GAL and child psychologist which state I have a good strong positive relationship with my son and my ex has acted in ways that are not in his best interest. When my son and I are together we have a great relationship.A lawyer told me two years ago that unless she gets a DUI with him in the car, or has a bf who's been arrested for drugs, getting a change in primary custody is almost impossible. From my experience so far, I agree with him. I do know men who have had changes in custody because the mother tried to permanently take the child away from the father by moving out state, or tried committing suicide. I feel his mother is actively trying to turn my son against me. Right now I'm not trying to change custody. I'm actively documenting odd statements from my son as well as all the angry, hostile, and uncooperative behaviors from my ex. There are WAY to many to list here.I've tried educating myself on alienation and toxic coparent behaviors. I've learned it seems the only real way to combat alienation and estrangement attempts is to have as many positive parental experiences with the child as possible. Also to have a lot of experiences with he and I being involved with other parents and children. He needs to see me with other children and adults. I do this a lot. My son and I are always spending time with my extended family that consists of both adults and children of many ages. My son and I also spend time with some some local neighborhood friends, both adults and children. I also learned not to talk negatively about his mom to him. Also, be empathic to his statements and then calmly look him in eyes and simply say, "that's not true, I'm not a liar, I've never hit your mom, etc." I should keep those statements short and try to have them be the end of the conversation.I have a lot of support from family and friends who are constantly telling me I'm doing the right thing. I'm in therapy and have been for awhile to make sure that I'm trying to be the best parent and coparent. I feel I have excellent legal representation. But even my lawyer has said to me, that based on the statements from my son and my wife's poor coparenting there isn't much that can be done legally at this point. He and I agree the best thing I can do is have the best parenting relationship with my son possible for now.Here's my worry and question. Even though I'm trying to do everything right, will he eventually reject me based on her false statements? Does anyone have experience with this type of situation? Should I wait for a lot of documented behaviors and attempt a change of custody at some point? Has anyone experienced a change of custody based these types of behaviors?Thanks for reading. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Rc6ATr
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