Not sure how to handle crying 5 year old

Mom of 3, pregnant with my 4th. My 2nd son is currently 5 and was the baby of the family for 4 years. My husband and I disagree on what to do about his crying. We are torn because we don't want to teach him to surpress his feelings and don't agree with people telling us to say "boys don't cry" (we have old fashioned family). At the same time he cries over everything it seems like sometimes. This morning for example he cried because : he was having a hard time zipping up his coat (he knows how and does it every morning), because I told him to brush his teeth again after I saw him rinsing the toothpaste off, and because I told him to change his dirty shirt. I try my best not to yell at my kids and raise my voice, but I do speak firmly when I have to ask him more than once to do something. He says I'm yelling at him, scared of me grounding him, and that I'm making him sad/mad when we speak firmly. The one thing that really bothers me is he fake cries on purpose when he's playing with his brother to get his brother to stop or get our attention. It's fake and he switches it on and off. One time I thought he was seriously hurt and he wouldn't answer me when I was asking what was wrong, but as soon as he saw me he stopped to tell me his brother took his blanket. My husband wants to start telling him to act like a big boy and not crying over every little thing. He's worried that he's going to be spoiled if we constantly coddle him when it's not for a "good" reason like he's actually in pain or sad over a legitimate reason. Which I get. I just don't know if that's going to teach him to crying is bad and make him feel bad about himself. Our oldest was never like this so we are lost and think that maybe it's our fault he's like this as the baby for so long. Thoughts? Should we let him cry and express his emotions or discourage crying when it's not real? How do you teach him that this emotion or fake play crying isn't good, but other "real" emotions is ok to cry? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2DhNqIt