My husband is treating my (not his bio) sons in a stern way at all times and I find it unfair.

Background: My husband is not the bio father of my two sons, 6 and 8. We do have a daughter together, 2. He has been in their life since my youngest son was born. The boys bio dad is involved and gets them every weekend.So my boys are growing and I get that as they get older we have been giving them more responsibilities. They are good kids but like any kids their age they can become lazy a bit so we need to get them moving. Recently, my husband and I have been bumping heads with how he treats them. I don’t want them growing up to hate him because he yelled at them all the time about everything they are doing wrong. He doesn’t notice that during the week most of his interactions are of him yelling for them to clean or do something. I appreciate him helping me enforce their chores. But this is his main interaction with them. Just enforcing rules and yelling.I will tell them they can get a snack after they clean. So they do and then all of a sudden I hear him yelling at them telling them it’s too late to get a snack. Boys begin to cry. Do I back my husband or let them have a snack and have my husband give me the silent treatment?This morning he told my younger son that he couldn’t bring video games to the table at all. Good rule when we are eating. My son had finished eating and he came over to show us something on his game he was excited about. My husband warns him about the video game and I say “ oh he’s just warning you when you are eating to give you a heads up.”As my husband and I finish our meal(boys already ate) my son comes back to sit next to us with his game system. My husband starts yelling at my son. My son and I are both confused because he is done eating and I know he just wants to be next to us. But I reinforce what my husband says and my son leaves. Then I tell my husband I didn’t think that was a fair rule aside if we are all eating at the table. Also my husband and I have our phones with us at times when we eat.So I’m getting that he wants to keep a home with rules and I appreciate it but he yells at them so much. He doesn’t communicate with me when he wants to enforce something. And during this whole time he lets our 2 year old get extra candy. He lets her eat chips in the morning for breakfast. He allows her to sleep on the bed with us because she knows her dad gives in to her crying. He spoils the hell out of her. I get she is a toddler but he’s treating my boys so much differently and it hurts me. They are so confused and idk how to approach any of this. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2FLGtRU