My son (our first) spit up. All over my hair, beard, and face.I've been so vigilant in watching for the warning signs these past 6 months. Listening for the tell-tale tiny rumbles that preclude a soon-to-come explosion has been a constant since learning babies are vomit machines. Having a burp cloth handy or simply dodging the splarpy projectiles has become a norm, and I'm used to changing shirts one or more times a day (though the frequency and volume has certainly gone down), but up until yesterday I had kept my face clear of the line of fire.I am certain my hubris got the best of me. In my pride, I let my guard down.You see, my son has been taking "steps" for the 3-4 weeks (we help keep him up and he moves his feet in stepping motions). He seems to take great joy in this newfound "mobility." I was extremely tired from the day so I decided to lay on the couch and help him with his new favorite activity. This was my first mistake, for not only would this reduce my ability to dodge, but it also put me dangerously close to the source of spew. Second mistake was having him walk toward my face.No sooner was he above my head do I feel a tiny rumble, and swiftly hear a small "blorp". Too close to dodge, too late to move him, I was covered in a torrent of baby slop. It started in my hair, but soon worked it's way to my face, eyes, and beard.Naturally, to add salt to the wound of my damaged ego, my wife walked in just as it is happening and began to shout: "BAHAHAHAHA DON'T MOVE HEHEHE WHERE'S MY CAMERA!!!"I have been given a good lesson. My guard was down and I paid the price. I must continue to act with vigilance, for I have also been perceptive enough to dodge dreaded projectile poo.... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Q4paiU
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