Hi r/parenting. My 7 year old son has a general disregard for the rules and other's feelings and I am not sure what, if anything, can be done about this. I will supply a few examples from the past two weeks, however this has been an ongoing thing since he was about 2.Two weeks ago my son wanted to go outside with his friends. I told him go ahead but to stay out of the woods. He said okay and started to leave. I made him turn around and repeat what I said and he did "No playing in the woods." So he left. 20 minutes later I went to check on him and there he was playing in the woods. I called out for him home and went home to wait for him.When he came in we chatted. It went a little bit like this: SON: Hey, what's up? MOM: Hey Son, what have you been doing outside? SON: Just playing with Brother and Friend. MOM: Where have you been playing? SON: Just at the park and beside Friend's house. MOM: Oh yeah? Did you play anywhere else? SON: No. MOM: Well, Son, I came out to check on you and I saw you in the woods. SON: Yeah, I was in them. MOM: Why did you decide to go in the woods if you knew you weren't supposed to. SON: Because I wanted to. We finished out conversation. Him telling me he knows he isn't supposed to but he wanted to go anyways because he likes the woods. I grounded him to his room the next two days and he got to come out to help me with chores (cat box, take out trash, clean his bathroom, etc.)Just this morning he was downstairs in the office with his brother and sister playing Roblox while Dad made breakfast. A little while later my Second Son came in and said that Oldest SON was playing with a knife. Dad inquires about the knife, thinking it was on a game - which he is not allowed to play games with weapons because he, Oldest Son, is obsessed with them - and Second Son says it was a real knife. Oldest Son yells out "No I'm NOT!!!" and Dad goes to check. Turns out Oldest Son "found" my 2 inch pocket knife that I keep on the top of the bookshelf for opening packages. All three kids know its there and all three kids know not to touch it. Oldest Son didn't care. He opened it, pretended to cut the air with it, and then closed it and put it back before anyone saw. Then he tried to lie about it again. Dad tried to talk to him but he was yelling at Dad and so Son was sent to his room.I talked to him after he calmed down. He said he shouldn't get into trouble because he wouldn't do it again. I asked him to tell me what happened from beginning. He said he saw the knife and picked it up. Then he said he opened it, "cut the air" with it, then he closed it and put it back. I agreed that he wasn't in trouble for finding it. I asked him what he should have done once he realized it was the knife. He said he should have put it back. I agreed. Then I asked instead of putting it back what did he do? He said he chose to play with it and that is why he was in trouble. I told him exactly, he was in trouble for making the decision to play with it instead of putting it back where it came from and also for lying to Dad when he was asked about it.So this is my issue. These things go on all the time over all kinds of things. He does things he knows the consequences for because he wants to. He genuinely knows the right and wrong decisions and intentionally chooses to do what he wants. I am not sure if this is an impulse control issue or something else.I am worried that if we don't get a handle on this soon it will only get worse as he gets older. What can we do to help him? We currently talk out issues, we ask questions and he supplies the answers so that he comes to the conclusion on his own about what has happened and the issues were. We also use grounding, because he is old enough to understand the concept, although it only works in the moment. He also isn't allowed to play games with weapons because like I mentioned earlier he is obsessed with guns. We don't even own any guns, however my husband is military and uses guns at work occasionally.I am worried about my son. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2gq2ohv
No comments:
Post a Comment