Hello,My 14 yr old is having a bit of a peer and self identity crisis. She was raised to very much NOT care what others think about her and her appearance. So for example she has up till now been a T-shirt and Jeans kind of girl. Her mom and I would like to see her dress more "traditionally girly" but while we occasionally bring it up I never pressure her, and her mom only does a little. We still buy her the t-shirts so obviously its not a huge issue. She is a very smart kid all college prep level etc so been very academic focused up till this year. Now she has a boyfriend.This isnt her first boyfriend but he is the first boy she has gushed over. She obviously has feelings for him and has recently been drifting toward wearing more "girly" things like dresses. Today one of her peers confronted her about the changes in attitude and appearance from her usual more tomboyish style to this. It left her hurt and confused. It may sound weird but as her father I am glad she felt secure enough to come to me. To quote her "I am going through these changes and wanting to dress like this sometime but I don't know that I like feeling so out of control of what I want or who I am." I calmly explained to her that some of the changes are likely because she wants to please her BF, some are probably just her wanting to try something new and some of it could be hormonal changes causing her to want to be more desirable. I then explained that over the next 10 years she will discover as she matures who she is. That she should enjoy that journey and all it brings. Not to worry about what others think about her path as long as its not self destructive. This settled her down.I am no expert. Has someone run across any books they shared with their daughter that helped her through some of these identity issues? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ga6CJw
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