Judgy and overbearing Grandma

First time mom, brand spankin new mom. Also first time posting here, since I need to vent this out anonymously.I have always had a pretty close relationship with my mom. When she found out she was gonna be a gma she was over the moon, which made me happy too. But, since having my DD a month ago, I have felt like she hasn't stopped judging me about how I care for my baby. DD is so loved and well cared for, but my mother makes me feel like self care is a crime against my daughter. Like, if I am not miserable, exhausted, and a complete trainwreck, I am not caring for my baby hard enough.Stack on the fact that she is very overbearing. she actually expected an apology from me when DH and I made a parenting decision that she didnt agree with. I Gave my baby a pacifier during a photoshoot, and she doesn't think baby should EVER have a pacifier, so I should apologize to her for that. Like "I am not f***ing apologizing for making a call in the way I care for my baby"I love my mom, and I hate to hurt her feelings, which is easy to do. She is easily offended and get really upset of I do anything that isn't to her liking. She has an adult tantrum and pouts for hours or days. It makes me feel like the biggest asshole in the world. So I usually just cave and let her have her way for pretty much everything. But I am actually putting my foot down when it comes to my baby and its not going well. She offers to help, wants to watch baby, but its conditional on me being complacent to whatever she wants. I feel blackmailed, like if I want gma in DD's life, I have to surrender my independence and parenting values. If I say or do something that upsets her, even when I explain in the nicest way possible, I feel like an ass because she guilt trips me, HARD. I dont know how to stand my ground, and not feel like a complete jerk.TLDR: Grandma-zilla is stepping on my toes regarding newborn DD and I am afraid of breaking the relationship. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Pcdb0r