I've searched through this sub and read tons of these posts but haven't found one that speaks on our exact situation. Anyway our 9 y.o. has a bed wetting problem. We limit his water intake 1-2 hrs before bed. We have to remind him every night before bed to go to the bathroom or he won't. I don't know if he actually forgets or just doesn't want to. We have an appt set for him to see a dr. We've had insurance issues for awhile and recently got that whole situation taken care of. One week after we do his laundry just about litterally everything he owns is drenched in urine. His mother is starting to lose her patience and is much more tolerant than me. Also I should mention that this is her biological child, he is not my son biologically but I see him as my son. I was patient with him for awhile. Over time it became more and more irritating. I think what makes it so irritating is that he doesn't care. He doesn't care at all. I'm 90% sure if it was completely up to him he would never take a shower and never use a toilet except maybe to poop at least most of the time but he would literally pee himself whenever and wherever and never change his clothes, brush his teeth or take a shower. When we make him take a shower he tries to hard to not take one. He will sit on the toilet with the water running and do who knows what for ten minutes. We caught him doing this so then he would wet his hair in the sink probably and do the same thing. Caught him doing this and we think he's showering now because he doesn't stink like he did while he was going through the aforementioned phases but still doesn't smell great. He also hates to dry off and hates to put on clean clothes. He will get straight out of the shower every day and put his dirty clothes back on soaking wet if we don't pay attention. He also will try to get away without brushing his teeth if we don't pay attention. His feet are horrible. I've literally never smelled something so disgusting. He will take his shoes off in the car and I would rather drive with the windows down in freezing temperatures than smell his feet. No matter what. We make him shower every day. Two times a day. New shoes and socks. They stink. This is because the times we don't pay attention and he doesn't wear socks and his shoes on after he showers or puts on dirty socks. It's not just his feet though. Unless he's fresh out of the shower he stinks. He came home from school crying because the other kids were making fun of him because he was smelly that day. I messed up and wasn't paying attention and he went to school is clothes he had already worn once or twice and possibly peed in and he couldn't possibly understand why they were making fun of him. I reassured him, told them they were just bullies and not to bother with them and other tips for dealing with kids like that but I was hoping this would motivate him it did not. He also is very lazy. How he is with his hygiene is how he is with everything else. It doesn't matter how much positive reinforcement we do or how long we build this habits in him. He will cry, I mean ball his eyes out, drop to the floor on his knees and scream every time we tell him to pick up his room, wash the dishes or whatever other chore but really his room and the dishes are the only chores he has that he does maybe 2x a week 3x at most. Last night we spent the night at my moms. I didn't realize it but she gave him one of her favorite blankets. I was already worried he would have an accident. He did. Except this time he didn't pee at least he didn't say he did. He threw up all over the blanket and brand new pj's my mom got him. I was patient with him at first and got him a new blanket. Told him to go to sleep and he said he needed new clothes. I asked why and he said he pooped himself. I didn't say anything but I'm sure he could tell I was very frustrated. I got him new clothes and we went back to sleep. Then he pooped himself again in the new clothes on the new blanket. Am I an Asshole for being so fed up with this. I'm not sure how much are accidents and how much he is just being lazy and doesn't want to get out of bed but it's so rediculous. I am trying very hard not to take it out on him but it's disgusting. I hate having to deal with it. I feel like because I came into his life after he had went through his toddler years that no matter how hard I try I can't see him as my child and because I can't I find this behavior disgusting. I am so fed up with it. Im not going to spank him or punish for it but idk what else to do. Is this normal? Is it possible I'm not a good candidate to be a male role model/father figure for this kid? My dad died when I was young. Grew up with no male role model until my teenage years with a step dad that had similar issues with me and fucked me up mentally because of it. I don't want to do that to him. Also other than this behavior we get along great. I love the kid. He's super funny, smart, fun to be around and pretty much always in an upbeat mood and can get a smile out of me on my worst days. I want to be his dad and be there for him the way no one was for me. I don't want anyone let alone him to have the same problems I did growing and grow up to be me. Please help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ERfBN9
No comments:
Post a Comment