Basically the title. I've had a bottle of wine, so bear with me. DH and I have a relatively good relationship with his parents. They have always been supportive and are very helpful with our 3 kids.So, last night, we finally had a date night since having our youngest (6 weeks). We left all 3 kiddos with his mom for a few hours. Our oldest has a great relationship with her Oma, so we allowed her to spend the night and picked up the other two around 8pm.Our oldest daughter is 6. She is very independent and strong-willed. She also has very strong emotions and is extremely empathetic. Everyone around us (friends and family) is aware of the fact that we believe she may have some generalized anxiety. So, when she becomes overwhelmed, she has a hard time calming herself and expressing what she feels. We ALWAYS approach her rationally during those times and calm her breathing and have discourse and that settles it. We have been working on breathing techniques and other coping mechanisms with her. And we openly discuss this course of action and our parenting/discipline with the people in our lives.This morning, after returning from the walk-in clinic, DH asks me if MIL has a booster because she asked if she could take DD with her to allow someone to test drive a car they are selling WITHOUT A CARSEAT. Umm, fuck no. So, I drive the 15 minutes to pick her up.When I got there, MIL immediately comes out to tell me she's done something horrible. She briefly mentions that she's text DH and informed him prior to my arrival. DD is clearly shaken and runs over to me.Once inside, MIL informs me that DH fell and hurt herself and proceeded to "pitch an hour long tantrum." According to MIL she could not calm her. MIL's solution to this was to shove DD's dirty socks into her mouth. FIRST OF ALL, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Then MIL says, after DD calmed down, she apologized and allowed DD to reciprocate the sock shoving into MIL's mouth. She follows that with incessant apologies.At this point, I'm livid; however, I cannot curse her out or whip her ass in front of DD, so we gather her things and leave. I'm in the car, crying, asking DD to recall the happenings. Then we discussed how wrong all of this was--the incident, the encouraged retaliation, all of it. We, again, discussed how she was feeling and coping mechanisms. I very poignantly told her that I would NEVER do that to her, and if I had been there that definitely would NOT have happened.Once home, I explain the situation to DH and he is furious. MIL actually had not text him and blatantly lied to me about doing so. He also informed me that FIL was there at the time of the incident. (Apparently, this happened before the phone conversation regarding the booster seat, and he heard DD crying in the background and FIL speaking but didn't know what was happening.) We both agreed that it was abuse and that we would not be visiting for quite some time, and my children would definitely not be visiting unsupervised for even longer. He has arranged to meet with her in person and discuss the situation and set firm boundaries.So, here's my thing. This has triggered me so badly, as I was physically abused as a child. My mama bear has come out and I want to maul this woman. Why was she not able to assess the situation?! Why could she not see that DH was hurt and couldn't calm down?! What was FIL's role? Why could MIL not control her own damn self?! This is extremely out of character for MIL. Why did she not call one of us if DH had an "hour long" episode or mention it on the phone to DH while it was happening?! And WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SHOVE DIRTY SOCKS INTO A CHILDS MOUTH?! HELLO, ASPHYXIATION?!?!?!I don't even know what to think or what to do. I can't speak to her right now, but I'm half drunk enough to want to construct a colorful text message. I think we've done right by our kid since this afternoon, but I am still so shaken up. I don't want to project my own trauma into the situation. Are there additional steps I should take? Today has proven to me that MIL clearly needs time to assess herself because her judgement is lacking.Fuck, man. I am not okay. Send more wine. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2KLanpC
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