Need advice

My husband and I have found ourselves in a very difficult situation. Last summer my 17 year old daughter made friends with a new group of people. One night she asked if one of her guy friends could spend the night bc his dad locked him out of the house. It was late at night and I said yes. I met her friend and discovered that he was in a dreadful situation. Chris was 17 and had just graduated from HS. I learned that his mother committed suicide 2 years prior. They lived in another state together. They had a terrible life and he spent part of his childhood homeless and living in a car with his mother. After his mother’s death he moved here to live with his dad who he really didn’t know. His dad had remarried and has a daughter with someone else. His dad made Chris live in an unfinished basement with a door to the outside. His dad kept the door to the upstairs locked so he had no access to the upper part of the house. Chris told me that although he managed to go to school he did not eat during the week as his dad did not provide for him. Chris is very polite, quiet and likable. He made friends at school with kids that were mostly wealthy/upper class and he would stay at their houses on the weekend and that is the only time he would eat. When I met him my heart broke. He looked anorexic and he was so scared and told me that when he turned 18 in one month his dad was going to change the lock to the basement and he would be homeless. Apparently he had called social services on his dad and they told his dad that he had to provide him with a home until he was 18. Fast forward 6 months later: All of Chris’s friends moved away to college and Chris is still living with us. We have a large finished basement that could double as an apartment minus a kitchen. My daughter (just turned 18) but is still in HS has a bedroom down there as well. There is not an extra room in the upper part of the house for him to stay in. This has made us uncomfortable, as we feel it is inappropriate, but feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Since living here Chris has been working full time we do not support him financially at all, with the exception of the obvious. My daughter has helped him get an ID, set up a bank account, get a cell phone with service and he is supposed to get a drivers license hopefully this week. We are trying to help him get on his feet and acquire independence. Since living here he has been super polite, respectful and we care about him very much. My daughter is super independent. She goes to school, works, and is dead set on moving out when she finishes HS. She craves independence and wants to live on her own before she decides what she wants to do about college. Chris on the other hand seems fearful about spreading his wings. He has likes the idea of having a family to live with, something he has never had. In short, he needs the stability our family has provided and does not seem to be progressing towards independence. He’s the complete opposite of my daughter. So, I have basically raised in independent daughter who is ready to fly and I have gained a son (so to speak) who needs the support of “parents” and a family to be anchored to. He has no one else to turn to. His Mother’s relatives are in another state and they don’t seem to maintain a relationship with him. We have offered to fly him down to visit his relatives for Christmas and he has declined saying he would rather just stay here and work and spend Christmas with us. So, soon my daughter will be leaving home. She does not feel responsible or obligated to Chris in anyway. She is going to leave him behind. I can tell this worries Chris and we have assured him that we would not just make him move out without a safety net. So, all of this had fallen to me and my husband. I feel like it will take him at least another year or two to gain confidence and feel like he can be on his own. He has missed out on so many milestones that children progress through to help them to become independent adults. I guess I’m just looking for some sort of advice...and others thoughts about this situation. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2X670yv