So i posted 14 days ago.My husband has seen a therapist everyday For 10 days now and i have to say he’s made incredible strides! Im so proud of him.Yesterday was our “family” session. Our now 3 year old sat and played with toys while we spoke to the lovely therapist!I expressed my worries and he expressed his. We had a very long conversation. Turns out my husband had reasons! Not that it justifies his behaviour but we can now make progress. These include: - He feels like hes at a dead end he really wants a career not a job - He’s sad that im not willing to have another biological child (this took me back because i thought we agreed but we are going to discuss this) - hes fed up of me moaning about messes etc (i snapped and said i wouldn’t moan if you just cleaned up your crap) - He feels like hes just dad and nothing else.So in this i made suggestions I said “Why do you do an apprenticeship? You love learning youd get a little bit of income and experience and we can claim benefits till its done, I am open to talking about more kids but i dont think its fair that id be the one going through a pregnancy and labor and then being a stay at home parent for 3 years again, I wouldn’t moan if you just did your part. I pick up after our son everyday and our pets, i do laundry, cooking, cleaning and shopping I will lose my crap if im doing all this and you wont even do the 5 tasks I ask of you (bins, dishes, toilets, dog poop and cat poop), i ask you all the time to find yourself I want you to have a life outside of our son I beg you to do stuff... this we will also work on again”All in all he felt emotional and so did I, the therapist agrees with me that hes not a danger etc hes just really stressed and hes been put on antidepressants as well as he expressed suicidal thoughts. After that she asked him how he felt about going forward with the adoption of my son (ours but for context here) and he started crying saying he wants nothing more then to be his legal dad but feels like hes blown his chance i cried and said no of course you havent i just want you to feel good!So we got home and had a nice dinner and once our kid was in bed i went and got the papers he cried and asked if i was sure and i said iv never been more sure and that our kid loves him and i want him to legally be his dad.We sent the papers off today and im glad we got it sorted ! Hes going to continue therapy and hes been going to kick boxing and gym to blow off steam. And i set him up with my beat friends husband and they clicked and are always together! Im glad he admitted his faults! Hes doing so good! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2NMj5oc
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