Lack of communication with parents as an adult

So my situation is very strange and very lengthy, so I’m going to shorten it as much as I can.My parents divorced when I was a baby, and I was raised by a single mother until I was 10 years old. My mom passed away when I was 10, so my brother John and I (John is 1.5 years older than me) moved in with our brother Trevor and his wife Amy( both Trevor and Amy are 12 years older than me, so they were 22 when they took us in).Now obviously two 22 year olds with no parenting experience are going to stumble their way through raising two pre-pubescent boys, but for the most part my brother John and I saw our older brother and his wife as the ideal American family. Together since they were in middle school, modest house and two vehicles, a dog... just a happy family.Now growing up with Trevor was interesting because he never quite understood me. He was a big hunter, fisher, gun and outdoor enthusiast, and I was just a quiet teenager who loved video games and hanging out with his friends. Now my brother John loved hunting and fishing, but he was also a troubled kid. There were two times throughout our time living with Trevor that John was arrested, once was for a DUI when he was 18. John also moved into a friends house after his DUI, emancipated himself in our school district and switched high schools without maintaining communication with our family.Throughout all of this, I could tell my brother Trevor still liked John more than he liked me. Although I was a good kid, I wasn’t anything like Trevor. I wasn’t abrasive, I didn’t take risks and learn from hard mistakes, I think he could see things in John that he could see in himself and that made him respect my brother more than he did me.Fast forward 2 years. I was 18 years old when I left for the Army, to be honest part of me joined to finally gain some respect from Trevor... before I shipped out he would buy me beers and cigars, have deeper talks that he never had with me before. I could tell he finally saw me as a man.Fast forward 8 months - I was kicked out of the army during AIT for failing an IT test too many times to continue - at the time there were a lot of cut backs so reclassing wasn’t an option - I was going home. At this point I felt like my own man and knew I couldn’t go back to living with Trevor, so when I got back I moved in with a girlfriend in a city about 2 hours away from where Trevor lived. I lived in another city for 4 years, and throughout those 4 years Trevor and Amy never maintained regular communication with me... don’t get me wrong, they would invite me to Christmas, thanksgiving, birthdays, but never once called to ask how I’m doing. Not even a text to check on me. I know they have a very “if he needs us, he will reach out” mentality, and I came to terms with that a long time ago.My problem begins here. My girlfriend of 5 years and I separated about a month ago, and I had to move in with my brother John and his girlfriend. John is actually very successful in the construction industry nowadays and turned his life around after his DUI - he also got booted from the army at one point lol (runs in the family I guess). My ex drove to Trevor’s house to say goodbye to him, his wife, and my niece and nephew. He was very aware we separated, he was very aware I was living with my brother John, and it took 3 weeks for his wife Amy to text me “how are you?”.This really hit home. Although I have had these feelings for a long time, my exclusion from my family is settling hard now that I’m alone. It really bothers me that they have never once shown concern for my wellbeing, and I’m not sure how to talk to them about how their lack of communication without them just saying “well if you need us come talk to us”. They regularly call me and John their kids, but how could someone let their kid leave at 18 and stop communication with them almost entirely?To add to this, Trevor and Amy regularly reach out to my brother John to ask him to come over for a drink, go camping, off roading, scouting, he even told me they play iMessage games with each other regularly. My brother John and I have a very strong relationship, and I’m not mad that he has this relationship with them. To be honest, I’m jealous.TLDR: I was raised by my older brother and his wife. After moving out at 18 they ceased almost all communication with me that wasn’t related to family events (birthday parties, holidays, etc). I am now 23 and my girlfriend of 5 years and I separated and my brothers wife waited almost a month to ask me how I’m doingWhat do you guys think? Is it a parents obligation to reach out to their child once they are out of the house? Do common interests determine how often you should contact your child?Also, How can I bring this up without sounding like a needy bitch? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2TSJZgM