Suicidal mom with a toddler

I have been feeling pretty low lately. I have severe anxiety that I have battled before and won. I’m very suicidal right now.My son is 2 years and 3 months. He’s a very active kid and is quite a handful. I love him with everything I have. I don’t think I can love a person or than I love my husband. I would put my toddler first before anything and my husband would probably do the same. But for the past few weeks he’s been fighting me. He kicks me, smacks me and just won’t stay with me while I put him down to sleep. He always wants his dad. I’m not jealous. I’m glad he wants my husband, but when husband is busy with work and I try and put him down to sleep, he acts as if I’m a monster. He just cried for 30 straight minutes until his dad came in. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.Motherhood is all I have right now. I was fired from my job because I was pregnant and getting a job back is being incredibly difficult. I am trying my hardest for a job. I’m applying to ever position, even a starting position. But I’m meeting dead ends.I thought I was meant to be a mother. All my nephews and nieces loved me. And my own son won’t come to me. What am I doing wrong? What can I do? Please help me. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2y8bgSm