Okay so first of all, MIL is a notorious control freak who likes to offer "gifts" to her grown kids and their families and then attach all kinds of strings to them that will allow her to gain control over their lives. She never seems to just give anything out of the goodness of her heart.So in this particular instance, she has offered to allow us to stay in her vacation condo when my husband is off next month for a week. She is losing nothing as they're not able to use it during that time, anyway. It's a 3 bedroom unit so we told my adult daughter she could come along. She's been in a stable, happy relationship for a couple of years now and has gotten a place with her boyfriend. She doesn't earn as much as he does, though, and they wanted to visit some theme parks around the condo, so she asked if he could come along. We didn't see an issue since it's a large place and he will be paying his own way and helping us with gas and groceries, etc. Well MIL decided she doesn't want to share her condo with this young man, so that would mean that my daughter would probably not want to go either, because I mean... it would just be mean on her part, and we can't afford to buy her theme park tickets, etc., so she'd be stuck in the condo on top of probably hurting her partner's feelings if she went.So my automatic thought is, let's just decline. The inlaws own the condo and if they have that rule, fine. We just won't go. My husband thinks we should all go and just try to hide the fact that we brought the boyfriend along. I don't like this because it's modeling lying and sneaking around for our younger child, who might be put on the spot if MIL gets suspicious and asks her who was there (and MIL is the exact type of person to corner our younger child and ask her). I don't want to tell her to lie; I think either MIL should just allow this totally harmless extra person, for whom there is plenty of room, or we should politely decline her "gift". My husband and I are unable to find common ground on this because he's been lying and sneaking around on his parents his whole life due to his mother's penchant for meddling and trying to control him, so he doesn't see the issue with going and just lying about it. I see a lot of issues even outside of the obvious, like how can we take pictures without including our adult daughter's partner, or videos of the trip, etc.? It just seems so sketchy and I hate it. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2xAteN3
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