Not sure if this is the right sub. TLDR as newcomers in a small town we started off on a bad foot, and I’m wondering how to fix it. If you had to deal with a mom like me, how could she meant fences with you, without apologizing for what she’s been through?My husband & I are an interracial couple & new in a very insular smallish town. Although we live in a “nice” neighborhood with a house costing $X, due to last minute messing with school district lines we are zoned to a D-rated school with a poor reputation (a common thing in in this county).3 years ago we had our oldest re-zoned to a good school closer to our house. Homes zoned for there cost X+20%. The school has declining enrollment & is a Title 1 school due to reassignments (our family does not qualify as title 1).Our first year there: 1) I was approached by a PTA member who was desperate for volunteer work w something I do well; I stepped up and did it and got results (I was nominated to/elected to a PTA board membership)2) We got some disturbing harassment shortly after my job was eliminated in a mass layoff. One bitch made up weird stories about our home being squalid and causing a lice outbreak (she had never visited) ; we found occult paraphernalia left in our yard, etc.3) I sent an email complaint to the school about the lice stories; the vice principal (no fan of interracial marriage) forwarded the email to the offender. She ordered me to resign from the PTA (no authority to do so) and I refused,4) I was in a very serious accident (very clearly other drivers fault) involving a very large vehicle. I spent about a year in weird looking orthopedic braces, and recovering from my brain injury where I was really forgetful. I still have a bit of a stutter, sometimes forget words, and really suck at math.I am mostly out of the braces, though I do have some gross looking scars. There have been various attempts since the accident to have me removed from the PTA and keep me away from volunteering at the school:A vendor filed a “concern” with the PTA president and principal that someone who had suffered a brain injury was probably mentally unstable. Every time I open my mouth at a school event, the principal starts rolling her eyes, and repeating back some twisted version of what I said with wide eyed confusion. Both my husband and son have been approached by people (adults and children) who have requested that I stay away from campus because the braces and or scars were “scaring the children.”Of course when I was in the hospital and thus on able to attend the PTA event, I had parents calling my kids school right and left, to ask why the hell I wasn’t picking up my phone.We’re unfortunately stuck here due to my husband‘s job, and honestly the school is so desperate for volunteers, that I was actually approached and asked to be on the PTA exec board again this year. And of course, every couple months somebody tries to assign me to another task force at the district level to help out the school.In other words, they want wealthy able-bodied volunteers, but they turn to me because they’re desperate. (The principal has admitted this to me; and I told her I stay involved to make sure people aren’t tempted to mistreat my kids).My husband was told that most people feel I was very selfish after my accident, and put my health before fulfilling volunteer obligations and keeping my job.The start of the school year, I would like to move forward and have things not be so adversarial. These people will never be our friends but being hated sucks.I’m not going to apologize for attending to my health after almost dying, but can any of you suggest a way that I might extend an olive branch to these families? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Oh4cOq
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