Daughter Guilt

My mother had me when she was 15 years old and I was ultimately adopted by my grandparents. They raised me while my mom moved out of state and was barely reachable for my entire childhood. Most of the time I would call her just to find she had changed her number or it had been turned off. My grandmother and I bonded like mother and daughter wouldI went off to college and my grandmother became very sick my second year. I moved back in state and attempted to care for her. She was so sick however I knew I could not help her alone. I called my mom and asked her to move here and help me take care of her. My mom did move back and help me, however my grandmother passed a year later.While my grandmother was still alive, I met my current husband, got engaged and married. When I graduated I found out we were to have our first daughter. My mom my our life a hell. She was terrible to my husband and created a split in the family that is still present today. Soon after my Grandmother passed and our daughter was born, my mother moved away again.Every since then my mom has not been a very stable or reliable person for myself, my daughters or my family. The few times I did allow her to watch my girls, she did things like take them out of state or town, turn her phone off so I had no way to communicate. I am stressed out everytime she has them.Now almost 10 years after my grandma passed, my mom has been "sick". I am not honestly sure if she is truly sick or taking too many pills ( she is a hypochondriac and gets SO MANY PILLS ) She has been living off of what my grandmother left to all of us, while my husband and I struggled to get to where we are today. It was a long hard road but we work VERY hard for everything we have and give to our girls.My mom was even gifted a house. She doesnt work and I am not sure how she gets money TBH. She has had a long term boyfriend who takes care of her - or tired to. But they still ask my husband and I for money all the time. For instance. The day my second daughter was born, they asked for us to pay their electric bill then left.Well apparently he is hurt now and can't help my mom and is saying she is very sick and needs money and is begging for it on FB. I feel terrible, I really do. I want to help my mom but I just can't trust her. My husband and I work so hard for everything and pay all of our bills without any help whatsoever. I just dont have the funds to help her but feel so much guilt. Should I be doing more? I feel that when I do it falls flat and isnt helpful or appreciated but when I don't she gets so upset with me and her boyfriend says terrible things to me. Ugh I am just at a loss. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RppgQ9