Deeply depressed over missing my toddler - LONG, but please, please read

I didn't know which sub to write this in. I posted in another sub but it didn't really get responded to much. I hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting this here.I'm struggling deeply with depression over missing my toddler.My husband has to be far away for work for a long time, and was unfortunately unable to take care of her during this time.Backstory:A little over a week ago, I got a nasty case of gastroenteritis, which you know shouldn't have been an issue overall just a severe stomach bug, but due to me being on Prednisone I ended up in adrenal crisis and almost died at the hospital.In the end, we couldn't find ANYONE to watch my toddler while I recover, and so CPS started a special case and she is currently staying with a lovely foster family. I'm in no trouble of course, it is a very different type of case because it is completely for medical reasons: I'm too unwell physically to care for my precious girl right now.I'm trying and trying to get better.... doctor's appointments, blood work, medications...but things keep coming back abnormal and I'm still awfully sick and weak. I pretty much just stay in bed all day and then take a cab to appointments. Not by choice, if I could I'd be up and doing lots of things. But I'm just so weak and exhausted.But back to missing my girl - my heart is breaking. I just want to hold her. I sent her a care package with her favorite books/toys, a letter, and my shirt to sleep with.I want to hold her so bad. And it keeps me up at night, missing her so intensely. I'm sad and frustrated that recovery seems to be taking so long and that new medical issues are popping up.I'm scared this will hurt my daughter. What if she thinks I abandoned her? What if this is hurting her?I can't bear the thought.I'm hoping that soon we can arrange for the foster family to bring her over for a visit. I can't take another moment away from her.How can I get better faster, when I'm so depressed and can't sleep from missing her? I cry every night. It's so painful.I just wish I were better now!I feel like I'm grieving. I know logically that once I'm recovered I get her back no problem. But it feels like she's missing. Taken away. Gone. My life is missing her.My routines need her. My life needs her. She needs me to be well enough to care for her. I can't take it much longer. I'm so severely depressed over missing her, like my heart has been torn out.How do I get through this heartbreak? I really need some tips. Please. Serious help needed. (And yes, I see a therapist who is visiting me at my home while I recover)Thanks for listening to anyone who managed to get through that. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qc8Yh1