Does therapy work? Does anything?

My daughter is 13 and is having major problems. She has run away and threatened to run away again. She has had a pregnancy scare and an STD. She had terrible grades and barely got through 8th grade. She's hostile and mean to her siblings and me. Last night while she was throwing a tantrum, kicking and throwing things around the room, I recorded her (because she had previously lied about me hitting her to convince her boyfriend's mother to let her stay at their house). She hit the phone out of my hands 3 times and shoved me.I tried talking to her about why she wants to leave and why she ran away. She just says that she hates it here. She is mad that we "make" her play ball, even though she has fun doing it and she likes it. She's mad she gets restrictions over bad grades and sneaking out at night. She thinks she should be able to do what she wants. If we try to stop her, she doesn't listen. If we try to punish her, she just runs away.She won't talk to the therapist, and he was actually really useless. Basically told us that we can't do anything disciplinary because it will just make her angry/sad and actually suggested that taking away her phone and grounding her is abusive because she is "feeling isolated from her friends."We gave her back her phone at the advice of the therapist even though I feel like she hadn't learned anything from having it taken away. He told me that if I was expecting her to show some sort of sign that she had learned a lesson, it wasn't going to happen, and by preventing her from socializing, we were damaging her psychological development.I have zero idea wtf to do. Literally I am losing my mind. She was missing for 24 hours and I paid a private investigator and even got scammed out of "reward" money for a bogus tip because I was desperate to find her. The police weren't going to do anything. I'm out $1100 for just the 1 day. And no, I can't afford it, I pulled cash advances off my credit cards.I can't sleep. I stayed up to physically watch her until she fell asleep last night and then slept sitting up next to her with my hand on her foot just to make sure she didn't go anywhere. I haven't taken my eyes off her all day.I'm afraid that if she gets upset, she'll take off. But on the other hand, how can I as a parent give in to everything she wants? Wtf am I teaching her? Nothing.I'm. Going. Crazy. I need help. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2sSE6oq