Responding to teen girl's (13) refusal to try new things.

Context: My boyfriend is her custodian and uncle. We live together. He and I are working hard in our late 20s/early 30s to learn how to be first-time parents to a teen. She has had a lot of loss in her life and craves control in a way I've not seen before in kids.We're stumped with how to respond to her in the following scenarios. What would you say or not say? (Yes, I need parenting 101. Please be kind.)Us, to her and her friends "How does Local Pizza Place pizza sound? It will be the easiest place for us to go after our outing."Friend #1: "I love all kinds of pizza!"Friend #2: "Sounds good to me."Her: "I don't eat Local Pizza Place pizza. It tastes disgusting." (She will not elaborate beyond this.)Us, to her and her friends during a discussion on scary stuff "Have any of you seen the show Fear? It was an early 2000s reality show where people had to do scary tasks in a "haunted" place."Her friends: "Weren't there camera people?"Her: "Early 2000s. So it's old. I don't watch old stuff."She clings so strongly to her contrarian personality that she comes across like a toddler. These are just two examples of how she uses her daily refrain, "I DON'T." It makes me sad that she closes herself off like this. I know she's a teen who's figuring out who she is and I know this originates from a deep need for control (her previous home life was extremely volatile). My impulse, however, is to not let these exchanges end with her "I don'ts" ringing in the air. How can I bring the positive back?TL;DR Teen girl seems stuck in a contrarian worldview that limits her. How can I respond to her "I don't do thats." in a way that is helpful and honors her strong need for control? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dLqNhS