Me (45M) with my estranged daughter (12F). Want to do right by her, even if it's too late.

Hi Reddit.I haven't been a great father. For the past four years of my daughter's life I have not been present. The reason doesn't particularly matter. It wasn't anything drug or crime related. Circumstances just stacked up in a way that I was weak and took the easy way out. Her mom already had primary custody. For all intents and purposes, I stupidly and selfishly gave up my portion. I don't expect to get it back.Since then I've largely been filled with regret. And it's all my own fault, and I'm not looking for anyone to absolve me of it. I have been doing better, however little that means. I've been paying extra on child support, sending letters once a month and cards every holiday. All to no response. I reached out to my ex wife who said my daughter no longer wants to talk to me. My daughter confirmed this.It hurts a lot, but, while I may have hoped, I didn't expect different. I know how things look, to her and to everyone else. I know that no matter how good I was before, and no matter my reasons, I've been a shitty father since I walked away. And I know that's something that I can never undo. I apologized for hurting her and let her know she can call me any time if she changes her mind.I don't want to force my way into her life and disrupt it. I would like to continue sending cards, but I don't know if it's worth it/if it'd just be detrimental if she doesn't want to hear from me. I'm going to keep paying extra on child support to know she has what she needs. But I'd really like to do more.I'm not looking to ply her with gifts. I had planned to include some spending cash in her Christmas and Birthday cards, but I don't want it to feel like I'm trying to buy her forgiveness. I just want to do something for her. Something to demonstrate that I'm thinking of her.I thought about, alternatively, opening a savings account and putting money away in there to give to her when she's 18 as a college gift. That way there's no pressure on her but the money is there and will hopefully be helpful to her in the future.I don't know. Does anyone have any thoughts or ideas? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eQoEjN