Looking for Understanding and Advice on Only Boys

Disclaimer* I will start by saying how lucky we are---I know this---I do not wish at all to offend or hurt anyone with fertility issues or family limits.My husband and I are in our young-30's and we have just found out our 4th (always been our 'perfect number'/stopping point) is also a little boy. At his birth, we will have a 6, 4, and 2 year old (all boys) already at home. (I) was so hoping, wishing, longing for a girl. I have tried now for almost two months to 'be at peace' with idea of four little boys, but I feel SUCH a sense of loss over not having a girl. My direct neighbor and close friend is also pregnant and after 2 little boys, she is pregnant with a little girl, and I want to hate her! I want to think my life will not be looking over the fence at a life (child) I don't have. My husband is very happy with with we have been given and is perfectly content to stop. I honestly don't know how I could survive five boys, but I can't expect us to try for a 5th---odds are not in our favor, and I couldn't do that to a child--that someone thick-minded would tell the 'funny story' of how Momma was hoping for a little girl and that would hurt him.I put all my effort into raising GOOD boys, but my fear is they will grow up and assimilate into other families and I will never have the opportunities Moms of Girls have. As it is now, I will forever only be the Mother-In-Law.I have read pretty much every single "Only Boys and Look How Happy I Am!" blog post but nothing is making me feel this any less. I don't need to be medicated and I am not depressed, but I know it is effecting me. I don't want to be the kind of person who looks longingly over the fence. I WANT to come to peace with it.Please, help me with how to do that. I try to joke that when my kids start dating I will be "OH! Let's go shopping! Want to go to the movies? Come on over early and cook with me!". I don't want to alienate my boys by being "Overly Obsessed Mother"---but that is my face. And my future. Literally. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dJQWgN