In need of strategies to help 7 year old deal with things not going her way

Our daughter is almost 7 years old and is a very smart, kind and sensitive little girl. We are having an issue where she gets very oppositional when we ask her to do something that she doesn't want to do. It's not always with the same thing...it really depends on the day. The most common is when it is getting close to bed time. We will say 'can you please go and brush your teeth and go to the bathroom' and her response will be 'what, am I a baby?' and then start huffing and puffing and then if we push back in any sort of way it just escalates into her running around the house hiding under the dining room table, yelling, slamming doors and being unreasonable. When she gets like this I try to get her to go to her room to calm down before we talk, because she always calms down and then realizes that she was out of control. But if my husband is dealing with her, he has a much stronger approach and pushes right back at her and then it just get off the rails with her yelling, him yelling and tears flowing. We have a significant external stress factor right now as we are going through a law suit, which I know impacts our tolerance some days...but I need to figure out a strategy that works for our family. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2emIRNe