I had my first child, a son - and my parents first grandchild - a few months ago. All in all, from pregnancy to birth - it was a pretty terrible experience for me (think pregnancy symptoms amplified the entire time and then preemie birth due to preeclampsia, with emergency c-section and near death experience). Recovery has been slow. Baby was in NICU for a little while. It was very traumatizing for both me and my husband.Of course, my parents were as thrilled as we were when they found out we were expecting and all was hunky dory until the baby was born...and then my mom transformed into an overbearing boundary breaking monster.She critiques my parenting ALL THE TIME. It's incredibly annoying. Because we live on the other side of the country, she came to visit about a month and a half after the baby was born and stayed with us for 2 weeks to "help out". The entire 2 weeks was practically unbearable. She criticized the way we fed the baby (as per NICU instructions, since he had coordination issues) and the one time we allowed her to feed him, she shoved that nipple into his mouth so hard that he was having difficulty feeding/choking and kept commenting to me, "What's wrong with him? What's wrong with him?" - when he wouldn't take or was eating too slow. It took all my will and self-control to not deck her then and there and to just very calmly pry the baby away from her arms. She would criticize when we practiced safe sleep and talk about how bare the bed was and would put things in it (ie. blankets) when I wasn't looking or cover the baby while he already slept in a sleep sack. She would tell me the baby was cold and that he wasn't dressed enough, even though we keep the temperature in the house no cooler than 70. Anything we did was wrong and she knew better - you get the idea.The thing is - both my husband and I would take the time to patiently explain why we were doing what we were doing (ie. safe sleep, feeding) multiple times, as well as show her how to do it. We answered any questions that she had. But, she would continue to insist we were doing it all wrong and/or vehemently question what we were doing.And while she lives across the country, she will now comment and dissect every single picture that I share in the family group chat. "You shouldn't sit him up with assistance too much, he's much too young." Or, "He's too young for tummy time - you're hurting him by making him lay on his stomach." It is all crazy to me, because I KNOW I did tummy time as an early infant - there are photos and video footage of this. She will even just send random 'reminders' of parenting tips - put a blanket over him when he's sleeping, don't take pictures of the baby with flash (not that I do, but I think I legit LOL'ed here).I'm at my wit's end, but I thought I would ask here, as I don't think this behavior is entirely rare when you become a new parent. And I know this has got to be nipped in the bud, because I cannot even imagine what it'll be like once my son is older. How do you handle these types of grandparents and still maintain a good relationship? Is there any hope?As a result of her comments and critiques, I have limited sharing any photos and videos in our family chat, but I feel awful for my dad, who is the most loving, supportive, and respectful man - who wants updates of his grandson, is embracing his new role as a granddad, and has also tried to talk to my mom about boundaries, but has gotten nowhere.How do you handle an overbearing grandparent? Or maybe a grandparent who thinks they're the parent versus grandparent? Is this normal? SOS. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ZmSbc1
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