My child was just diagnosed with a chronic illness and I've been trying to stay strong, but now I just need to vent.

As the title says, my child was just diagnosed with a lifetime chronic illness, Type 1 Diabetes.This weekend my child went into DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) and we almost lost him. I had no clue, but his blood sugars were dangerously high and he was diagnosed with Type 1. I know absolutely nothing about T1 and this weekend has been the one of the hardest fucking things I've ever gone through. Actually, I've already lost a child, and the thought of losing another one makes me want to break down and vomit.Listen, I know that Type 1 Diabetes (I'll now refer to as T1D) is a totally manageable disease and modern medicine has made some miraculous advancements that have come a long way, but I feel in way over my head. I've held the tears back, I've put on a smile for my child, but now I'm alone and all I can do is sob.I don't how how I'm going to do this. I have boxes of insulin, needles, glucose monitors, test strips, pamphlets, glucose tabs and I haven't slept in the past 4 days because I'm up all night worried my kid is going to fucking slip into a coma and die. Counting carbs, calculating doses, trying to remember the dos and don'ts is just all really heavy right now. His levels aren't managed yet, we live in an area where there are no specialists and although I feel well-equipped and have the information at the same time I feel so incredibly lost and alone.And the kicker on top of it all is we are currently uninsured. I have no idea how much a hospital stay is going to cost (easily TENS of thousands of dollars) but I have no clue how i'm going to afford the insulin to keep him alive.I'm scared. I'm pissed. I wish it were me. I wish I could take this from my baby boy and carry it on me. The fact that this isn't a curable disease and something he is going to have to deal with for the remainder of his life is just a really huge pill to swallow and I feel like I'm choking.I just had to get that off my chest. I'm going to pull my shit together, wipe my tears, put a smile on my face and go and give my kids a great Christmas eve. I'm counting my blessings because I have a ton to be thankful for and it could be worse. Just wanted to say thank you for listening. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MqXDVT