Sunday, 3 November 2019

Son's girlfriend lives half an hour away - where do I draw the line?


Just after his 16th birthday, my son met a girl who lives 30 minutes away. He doesn't drive or have a job, and taking him to visit her is becoming a burden. (When she comes to visit us, I'm asked to pick her up and then her parents bring her home. But when he goes to visit her, I'm asked to drive both ways. I don't feel comfortable making demands of her parents to drive my son home since I don't even know them, and they don't seem interested in getting to know each other. Her dad acted put out when I wanted to introduce myself the first time I brought my son over.)Not only is it an hour round trip, and the gas that takes, I have to take a toll road to get there. Then, so as not to double my driving time by going home and coming back, I hang out at a coffee shop on her side of town while they're together. So him visiting her takes up my whole afternoon. I don't want to make him stop seeing her, but I've told him several times now that he needs to get a job and help pay for these trips to visit her. I know he's put in at least one application, but I'm not sure at what point I say that I'm not taking him over there again until he can help pay for the expense. It's becoming a real burden on me.Obviously I'd like him to get a driver's license too, but that's complicated. He'd still need a job to pay for the gas and the increase in our auto insurance (I can't afford that), and we're down to one car right now so he'd be leaving us without a vehicle when he visits her. For right now I'm willing to put up with the inconvenience if he chips in.Also, today he asked me to pick him up at 4, and when I got there he wasn't ready, and asked me to drive his girlfriend to her job and then let them hang out and eat until her shift starts at 5. (He didn't ask me to pay for the food at least.) I don't know if I'm being a doormat saying yes to that when I really have things I should be doing at home. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2PPq6qS

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