I'm a lone parent to a six year old with multiple health issues. Her father has never really been involved. Over the years I tried EVERYTHING. Because I just wanted her to have two parents that loved her. He's ultimately visited her twice. In six years.I gave chances when he ghosted me and came back, I gave chances when he wanted to talk to me and "take time" before he got to know my daughter. Hell, back in 2013 I even tried to move forward when he smashed up my flat when she was in ICU 3 days post surgery.Anyway. He came back asking for contact last week. She hasn't seen him in four years. I told him I wanted to sort out child support first. Because in my eyes, him paying child support regularly(well, at all), is the first step in showing he's willing to be reliable and put her first. He's fine with this and understands that after six years of nothing, I need to see reliability before he meets our child again.So we arranged an amount (via the CMS calculator), and settled on a payment date. He also offered to buy her school shoes on payday because hers were broken.Payday comes around and he ghosts. I call him because it's a Friday night. And he's in a nightclub. Drunk. Even though his child needs something. And something just clicked in me. He doesn't care. He never has. He just wants "daddy points".So I text him, I let him know that I retract my agreement about contact with our daughter because he's done this one too many times. I tell him that if he wants a relationship with her then he can get a solicitor and a court order.I tell him our daughter needs stability and love. She needs people who will support her through her medical needs and her learning needs. She doesn't need to be reintroduced to someone who puts alcohol and partying before everything including her.I know going NC with a parent is a controversial choice. But ultimately... Because of his choices, she doesn't know who he is. So why introduce her when I know he'll hurt her? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Oxb0V3
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