Oh this is going to be so long, and I apologize ahead of time. TL;DR at the bottom, but please, do you have the time, read it and I will read all advice given.Our daughter looks like the All American, perfect daughter to the outside world.She is very intelligent, ranked #1 in her class (sophomore this year, but has every intention of holding that place and being valedictorian when graduation tools around), with a GPA of 4.55.She is in all honors classes, (by her choosing) and just received an academic scholarship to a local university that is even paying her a stipend through high school, so she doesn’t have to get a job and can just focus on her studies.To top it off, she is beautiful. Not just “beautiful because I’m her mom” beautiful, but REALLY pretty. Boys have been an on again, off again, problem with her, since she was 13, but right now, not the height of my concern.This child is SET UP for success in every way, but attitude. She is extremely intelligent and she knows it. She is gorgeous, and she knows it. She is overly popular in school and she knows it.This has all went straight to her head. Over the last year or so, we have watched our humble, sweet daughter, turn in to an almost doppelgänger of the worst form, personality wise.She has become extremely defiant and treats the household rules as if they don’t exist. She has four brothers (she is our only girl) and she acts as if they only exist to serve her and only talks to her father if she wants something and she knows I will say no.She is lying like it is a new language for her and now she is just downright being spiteful towards the rules I have in place (spiteful being her words, not mine).The rules in the house are: -do your chores (with seven people under one roof, this house gets torn up rather fast. If they each put in half an hours worth of chores a day, I can keep up with the rest, otherwise we will live in filth).-let us know where you are at all times (this is for safety. If any of them don’t come home, we need to know where to start the search), and when you will be home ( so we know when to start to worry).-keep your phone on at all times (our younger two are medically fragile and have to be admitted to the hospital regularly, if this happens, I want to be sure I know where all my kids are and they know where I am).This is a home, not a hostile. Anyone over the age of 14 can go to bed when they please, but will be up for school on time, and on non school days, will be up by 8am.Keep an A average in school. If struggling, let us know and we will get a Tudor.THATS IT! That is all that is expected of all five of our kids. Rules wise. Of course, we demand respect, but realize that they deserve some respect as well.As I said earlier, she walks on everyone in this family as if she is better than them, except me. At least, until recently.Ten days ago, we were to have dinner with my sisters family. She wanted to go to the movies with her friends. I told her that no, we were going out with her Aunt as those plans were made first. She argued with me for a bit and I didn’t budge. We went back and forth for almost an hour with me rounding back, numerous times, to family comes first. Finally, I told her that if dinner ended at a decent time, she could meet up with her friends after.Well, she went and convinced her older brother to drive to dinner separate, so she could make a 15 minute appearance then have her brother take her to her friends (this all took place the night before). As soon as I found, I said absolutely not and now, I didn’t care if we left the. Restaurant with half an hour to spare before her friends met up, she was going ABSOLUTELY nowhere that night.So, the next evening, we meet up with my sister at the restaurant and had dinner. My daughter said all of three words to anyone, as she was busy sulking, but I didn’t care. I enjoyed my meal and my family.We got home around 7pm and nothing else was said. She locked herself in her room and the night went as usual. Then, (not sure of the exact time as I was sleeping) she woke me up to say she was going to her friends house for the night and was gone before I could even blink (Guess her friend was in the driveway waiting on her, because when I got up, she was gone. Shortly after, she texted me the first name of the friend and the address. I wanted to lose my mind on her, but instead decided to sit back and decided what I was going to do next.She was back by 7a and I took everything away from her but her school issued laptop. I even took her room. Her room had its own bathroom and a walk in closet and her brothers were biting at the bit to get it. A coin toss between my oldest two sons decided who got her bedroom and the weekend was spent switching out the rooms.Told her she wanted to be grown, fine she could be grown. I closed out her back account (which was attached to mine) gave her the cash and told her, she will have a roof, heat, essential foods (no junk food, deserts, snacks etc) and I would only pay for what I was legally obligated to pay for. Past that, grown ups pay their own bills. I did leave her phone on, but I put a parental block on it where she could only contact her father, brothers, me and 911. She has no access to her apps and no way to text.I expected her to bend rather quick, as she only had $145 in her account. But, so far, still, she is holding strong.Then last night, She broke a main rule. She left for school at 7:05a and was due home at 3;30p. No phone calls came in and she was ignoring all of our calls (it was ringing, but going to voicemail). She also managed to think to turn off the location device.By 5pm, we thought something was majorly wrong. She might pull a LOT of attitude, but she ALWAYS let us know where she was. So, we got the police involved. Both city and county. (Forgot to mention, there is an order of protection placed against a grown man for creeping on our daughter, hence why the police got involved so quickly and why we were freaking out). I looked up her phone bill and called every number she had called or texted in the last month, asking every one of her friends if they knew where she was.At 6:33pm, one of her friends located her by calling pretty much everyone who knew her and let me know where she was and that she was safe. My husband went to get her and I called the police to let them know we found her. Turns out she was with this other girl and her father. The father was pissed when my husband and the police showed up at his door and ended up texting me, threatening me with harassment charges...whatever...i didn’t give to cares, not that he had a leg to stand on anyway. His daughter was one I had called and texted during the search, saying the police were involved, so it seems like he has his own troubled child to deal with.Now...I don’t know what to do. Her future is set in gold, but I am really worried she is going to screw it up before she even gets a chance to enjoy it. Her full ride scholarship will be useless, if she ends up emotionally scarred from a sexual assault, a baby at a young age or (God forbid) dead! But she doesn’t seem to grasp this. What do I do now?TL;DR: Intelligent, beautiful 16 year old already has a full ride scholarship to university, is top of her class and has a yellow brick road already paved for a wonderful future, but insists on being a textbook teenage girl and finds her friends and social life, and defying her parents more important. What do I do? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35nKRPk
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