The Mental Load.

My husband and I have 2 beautiful kids. A son who is almost 3 and a 11 month old daughter. Both children are a pleasure to spend time with. We got very lucky, cruisy temperaments (as much as can be on a 3 year old anyway!) and they sleep fairly well.We are currently trying to build a house, I have just returned to work full time after 10 months maternity leave. Previously I was only doing 3 days a week due to several chronic illnesses and difficult pregnancy with my daughter, but to get us over the finish line, I’ve gone back full time.I also changed career paths, which is something I’ve been desperate to do, but have held off because of the mortgage application process. I changed from 6+ years in banking to a marketing comms role, which is going well. But the return to work is a big adjustment for me, especially full time. I don’t feel I have any time to prioritise my health care, appointments, gym sessions etc. but I remind myself that it’s just a season and push through.Because of the house build, my husband has been really stressed out about our finances and we’ve been making a lot of effort to save as much as we can and really knuckle down on the spending. Unfortunately for me, this mostly means more work on my part. My husband doesn’t cook (can’t and doesn’t even try) so all meals/planning/grocery shopping/budgeting/shopping around for savings falls onto me. Then there is meal prep, cleaning, feeding the kids, taking care of my type 1 diabetes, the pets and the usual household chores.Out of all of this, my husband does three things: 1. He empties the bins 2. He cleans the cat litter 3. He does bath time.Everything else falls on to me, and sometimes his jobs end up being my jobs because he’s busy or forgets.He also plays leisurely sport 2-3 nights a week and spends approx $2000 a year playing these sports (ice hockey and basketball.)I’m really struggling with the mental load and my return to work. I’ve tried to explain to him that I need more help with the kids. As an example, when we sit down for dinner, he eats, uninterrupted, while I feed both our kids, trying to shovel my dinner in as I go. And some nights our son will only eat if he’s sitting on my lap. As soon as my husband finishes his meal, he goes to turn on the bath for the kids. As he bathes them, I am frantically cleaning up the kitchen, preparing bottles and bags for daycare etc and folding laundry etc.I am now having to do daycare drop offs and pick ups pretty much every day, whilst trying to get ready for work and get home in time to cook dinner.Can ANYONE please help me, give me tips on how to manage this better? Working mums, how do you fit it all in? Do you cook batches of meals and freeze? I feel like I never, ever stop and I’m scared I’ll burn out. With the budget being so tight, take away isn’t really an option. I am feeling a lot of pressure and suffer from anxiety. I am really hoping for helpful tips from other working mums (especially mums with chronic illnesses) about how to make this work??As a P.S: my husband is an excellent dad, he’s just not a great housekeeper. Should I be asking him to do more? How do I do this without him going on the defensive because he works so hard at work? (Ps. so do I!!)TLDR: I am working full time and trying to parent with chronic illness and a husband who doesn’t do much around the house. Help!Edited to add: our 11 month old is still feeding 3 times a night, which usually falls to me. I also suffer chronic insomnia so sleep is pretty broken either way. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2DPRe2n