I'm scared of my son.

I'm so sick of being a parent to him. I know that's horrible to say but it's just where I'm at. He's a horrible child. While he's extremely intelligent - he's four and has been talking since about 12 months, and I mean full sentences. I honestly think he could be placed comfortably in first grade right now - but he's vindictive, cruel, mean-spirited, and overall miserable to be around. He never says nice things or does anything with even slightly good intentions. It's 24/7 chaos.He outright refuses to potty train. He told me he won't use the toilet because he likes to make me sad. I told him that that's not nice, and he said "I know." I have to change this child that speaks and acts like an elementary schooler. Sometimes he intentionally kicks and struggles so feces get onto wherever I happen to be changing him.He hurts other children. Other parents tell me that he's still little and doesn't understand, but he does. He clearly plans these things out - watching his baby sister from afar for a while, for example, only to immediately grab her by the head and drag her/slap her/kick her the second my eyes aren't locked on her. He maliciously follows other children at playgrounds to steal slides and swings just before they were about to use them, tailing behind them constantly to "haha" in their faces.He jumps on me and his mother. Climbs up on things, and just jumps on us. He lands on our heads and necks and it hurts, but he thinks it's hilarious.He's dragged chairs out to the stove when we aren't around to INTENTIONALLY touch the hot burner.He intentionally ruins fun outings by dropping to the floor and screaming like we're hurting him if we touch him - and don't think he's doing it for attention, because he's hiding a stupid little smirk the whole time.He actively lies. Sister gets hurt, he lies. Food gets dumped, he lies. He hurts himself or the cat, he lies about it too. He does it for fun, not because he's worried about consequences.He's started breaking out of the house. We lock all the doors with childproof locks but he's figured them out and he's begun opening the doors/windows and booking it down the street, laughing the whole time.And it's not like we haven't been disciplining him. We've talked to him clearly. He also very clearly responds that he doesn't care. We've lost our cool before, admittedly, and screamed at him after a long day of him torturing us and his sister, destroying furniture and hurting the cat, unplugging the TV so we have to set the whole thing up again. He laughed when we screamed too. My wife slapped his hand once and although it left a mark, he laughed.I hate him. I hate him all day long, I can't stand him, he makes everyone miserable. Baby sister is scared to death of him. I've seriously considered giving him to my brother's family. They foster children and are used to bullshit like this. My wife has been looking into boarding schools.We're calm and understanding with him 95% of the time but when we're alone, all we can talk about is getting away from him. I'm scared of what he'll be like in his teens.Today he pitched a huge fit. Biting, screaming, trying to hide his laughter, saying hurtful things "I don't love any of you/I hate all of you/Go hurt yourself". I tried hugging him, carrying him to his room for time out, distracting him, trying to talk his feelings out.. nothing, per usual, he's laughing in my face. So I dropped him. Not my proudest moment, but I did. He landed flat on his butt. He laughed, and then started to spit at me/kick me. I very, very nearly slapped him across the face, but I stopped myself.I'm hiding in my bedroom now. The door is locked, and he's screaming bloody murder outside it. I want to get away from him. Take my daughter and wife and leave. He makes me feel like I live in a horror movie. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2MbqMa2