Description of duties: A minimum of defusing 10 tantrums a day. Additional tantrums likely. Non defusable public tantrums are a certainty. (Just....just hide your face and keep moving.) Navigating a minefield of sassiness and stubbornness that is almost certainly the product of your own personality. The CTO also shall serve 3-4 items of food per meal, none of which will be eaten. (but somehow end over the table and floor) Toast will suffice.The CTO will also have to sacrifice any item said toddler may deem important for her entertainment ex. Cellphone (even though You are on the phone), tv (even though You’re trying to watch something since she has the phone) and privacy (the CTO pooping schedule would be shared with toddler even though said toddler wants to use CTO as a jungle gym.) Toddler also demands CTO stays through all her poopies and chase her when it is time to wipe her butt.Work: 24/7.....seriously...it’s like...forever. Maybe you’ll get to retire in thirty years. Probably not though.Benefits: Hugs and kisses and daily “I love you’s”. Warm cuddles in the morning and endless laughs (ok maybe not totally endless but you’ll laugh later). Naps are authorized provided the toddler is napping also (she won’t be).Sick days: Ha...yea sure...you can have them if you can find them.Salary: LmfaooooooUniform: Dirty yoga pants even though you haven’t done yoga in at least four years. You can start the day with a fresh shirt but stains by midday are required. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Ta0G9D
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