Introducing absent father?

I deeply need more specific advice than Google can provide.My child's father was 21 when I was 15. He was abusive, and forced me to consent to sex on multiple occasions while also isolating me from friends and family.After I birthed our child I realized I couldn't deal with all of his rules and the chaos he created and broke up with him. He continued to force me to have sex with him when he had visitation. After two years I decided I was done with that as well. As a result Dad has not seen child for 8 years. Dad is married now with 3 children and as of four years ago has wanted to be involved again.I know my child wants to know him. I do believe that Dad now being in his 30s he may have changed his ways, but in conversation (via text) I still notice his ignorance, denial, and controlling antics.For the past 4 years I have told Dad to take me to court or family therapy before he can have contact. I even set up several therapy sessions myself attended 3 alone and set 2 more appointments in which he was to attend and did not. Therefore I said he must set up any future appointments.He is talking seriously about these appointments now and has scheduled an intake appointment for himself.The unknown is causing me to have a lot of anxiety. Is it better for me to keep my 10yo child from him until adulthood, or give him contact and let them build a relationship? At 10yo you're so malleable and I worry about this exposure and I don't know what is right.Has anyone grown up with an absent father or a father who was emotionally abusive and what would you have wanted your mother to do?I know ultimately I have to go to the appointments but I am worried I won't have control and be pressured to begin visits before I am sure and ready that this is the best choice. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2IxrbSo