So imagine this. Big stereotypical Catholic family. Five kids, three daughters and two sons, the youngest of which was a surprise baby. My oldest is married already and has two of her own. My son is the three-sport-a-year athlete who hangs with all the jocks.Well, a few weeks ago Son 1 walks into the living room where me, my wife, and Daughter 2 are sitting and watching TV, asks to talk to us, and tells us he's gay. Turns out that he and one of these jocks he hangs aground with have decided to call themselves a couple (I was wondering why he hadn't come around in a few months, and now I know. Turns out his parents knew for a few months while I only strongly suspected. Not that I'm jealous or anything.)Now Daughter 2 (age 19) is very supportive and positive and hugs him and wants to do the whole Love, Simon thing and everything, and my wife and I are just happy that he's happy. Daughter 3 (age 12) reacts the same and tells me to stop calling her Daughter 3 because she doesn't get that at 58 with two grandchildren you can't be expected to remember everyone's names. Son 2 (age 6) wants to know what 's going on and can he put in Spiderman for the ninetieth time this month?It's my oldest where the trouble begins. I expected my mother to have a little bit of an adjustment period (though ultimately knowing her the "mama bear" or in this case "grandma bear" instincts will override any religious qualms she has) but Daughter 1 is a Millennial- everyone knows they're all "woke" and "yeet" and stuff, right? And even if religion is an issue, family is family. A couple of kids used to give my baby cousin a hard time because he displayed a few mannerisms that presaged his marriage to another man, and my response was to beat the ever-loving shit out of them until they left him alone because that's what family does for family (little fuckers are all fat, bald, and divorced nowadays anyway. My baby cousin is only two of those. I'm only one of them)Turns out I'm wrong. Daughter 1 always took her faith with utmost seriousness. I guess some people get the bug more than others- I did the whole altar-boy thing and then didn't see the inside of a church until my mother put her foot down and said under no circumstances was her son getting married anywhere but in a church. Daughter 1 was certainly more devout than either my wife or I- even asking to transfer to a Catholic high school (I looked at the 15 grand per semester tuition and noped the fuck out). She got married right after graduating and she and her husband now have two of their own. Her husband is a part of a group calling themselves the "sadavancatists (sp?)" who reject Vatican II.Needless to say she was more upset than I thought she would be. She tells me it's wrong, that how can I let this happen, how can I let him have a boyfriend, how can I allow sin into my house like this? She tells me I need to "do my job as head of the family" and put a stop to this.I leave puzzled. I get being surprised- so was I when he showed me a picture on Instagram, I scrolled away by accident, and in trying to find it again I found the "bookmarked pictures" tab and found a bunch of pictures of shirtless guys (I swallowed his explanation of "looking like that is his goal when he lifts" with unspoken skepticism). I do not get the idea that as "head of the household" (tell my wife I'm the boss of her. Go ahead, do it. I'll call the morgue afterward) I have to put a stop to anything. I mean, I know there's the whole Ephesians passage people like to argue about, I remember that much from religion class, but as a solid cultural Catholic I thought we moved past that in actual practice. Same goes for the whole Leviticus stuff against gays- I'm not gonna say that I was down with the rainbow my whole life, because hardly anyone born in 1961 was, but I no longer see why people get all hot and bothered about it.Here's where I get mad. She and Son-in-Law (age 26) come over and tell me they talked it over and decided they can "tolerate his sinfulness" but she won't let her kids be around Son 1 unsupervised. She says it's "too much of a risk" and she's not "exposing her children like that". Things get ugly. I ground Daughter 3 because no matter how mad you are you can't call your sister a cunt. I tell Daughter 1 that maybe it's best they leave. I also told them that under no circumstances were they to say anything to Son 1.Son-in-Law comes around. He tries the whole "father-to-father" thing, as if he's my equal or something and not still basically a kid himself. He tries to tell me that they're just "looking out for what's best for their kids," because they're "concerned about their kids safety around a homosexual." He tries to connect it to the whole priest scandal thingy. I say nothing but imagine shoving his face into the wall. He has the gall to tell me that I'm "abdicating my duty to watch out for Son 1's spiritual wellbeing" by letting him be himself and have a boyfriend and that "kids need to be disciplined and that I shouldn't tolerate him acting out like this." I tell him it's best if he leaves.And there you have it. My niece (age 29) is getting married next week so that's the next big family gathering. She specifically told me she wants to let my son use the +1 they gave him and bring Boyfriend. She also doesn't know that her cousin married a raging bigot and caught that particular bug herself, so we're all supposed to sit at the same table.Son 1 doesn't know any of this, by the way. The lady's keeping me under a gag order because she wants to "handle" the situation before it turns into any kind of a drama. Apparently she's a much better liar than I am, because when Son 1 asked how Daughter 1 took the news my wife said that "she said she's happy you're at peace with yourself."Any advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2T0OQiP
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