TLDR at the bottom. First some context, please read we are totally lost and needing advice.I (aunty) am close to my 13 year old niece. She has a younger sibling and lives with her mother and grandmother after her parents divorce.In many ways she’s typically 13. Hates school work, obsessed with makeup and social media. We’ve drummed into her (as have the school) the importance of self respect and keeping control of your privacy on the internet but we’ve been fight a losing battle with her sharing risky photos and ‘twerking’ on video. We’ve taken her phone away, locked down her access to social media; but to no avail. She just borrows someone else’s phone at school and makes new accounts we don’t know about. This is only part of the problem, we suspect she’s seen some very explicit stuff online and it has sexualised her beyond her years.That’s the general stuff. Last night her mother asked her to help look for her electric toothbrush. My neice told her it was in the hallway as she had borrowed it. ‘I just need to clean it first’ she then rinsed it under the tap and gave it to her mother. Her mother asked why and the daughter explained that when she was changing her sanitary pad she had dribbled period blood on it.It turns out she had been inserting the electric toothbrush into herself like a vibrator. My sister (the mum) and the rest of the immediate family are beyond horrified. They are disgusted. It transpires that she has been doing this for months. They all have electric toothbrushes and occasionally they would go missing. Then they would turn up in or around my niece’s bed.When challenged over it my niece said the girls at school told her about it and she was just ‘experimenting’. She’s 13. She’s using other people’s toothbrushes and not her own. WTF???This is amongst other things where she couldn’t care less about Anyone else. Grandma has lemonade in the fridge to help her stomach condition. Niece just takes it upstairs and drinks it all straight out the bottle. Any biscuits, again she takes the tin and eats the lot. Anti-aging cream belonging to her mother, she slathers it all over her face.She also wets the bed or pees on the floor rather than go to the toilet. We are still trying to get to the bottom of it, it’s part medical condition and part laziness. To combat this she now shares a room with her mother. It’s not working.She is barely getting through school, streaks of good work is marred by lack of homework or bad behaviour. She even goes into the homework app and deletes assignments so that when we check to see if she’s has any she’s off the hook. Her attitude is also appalling and she is spiteful and cruel when the mood takes her.She also falls out with people constantly and interferes with other relationships at schools. Honestly she’s a wrecking ball to her own life. She has always been well cared for and despite her parents divorce she has everything she needs.But the recently discovered behaviour with the toothbrushes has completely broken the family. Her mother had not stopped crying and is at a total loss. She wants to send my niece away for the weekend as she is so sickened by what she’s been doing she can’t even look at her,None of us have a single clue with what to do. We’ve gone over it countless times - helping herself to other people’s stuff is disrespectful and never something she should do. But now we are in a train wreck situation and none of us know what to do. She’s at school now acting as if nothings happened. I am about to go and get her mother from work who is still crying helplessly.And just FYI the dad is next to useless. He uses every situation as a stick to beat and blame the mother with. He basically doesn’t care.We know she needs a therapist of some sort but what kind and where to begin is what’s foxing us. It’s such a taboo subject yet we’ve got an added layer of disgusting as well.Please please can anyone help with advice, similar experience or recommendations?TLDR: 13F has been masturbating with other peoples toothbrushes whilst on her period. Other disgusting and disrespectful behaviours as well. The family is in free fall and no idea how to deal. Please help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RZBmz5
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