
Original post: https://ift.tt/2ICNlPC wanted to update everyone on our situation I posted about a couple of days ago. I didn't expect to get as many responses as I did. I wasn't even going to ask because I forgot my old password but I decided to create a new account and hoped I would get a couple responses.I talked to my son about it the day after I posted. I asked him some questions about how he feels about playing with Sammy and how he feels when he has to leave his friends to play with Sammy. He said a lot of what I expected. He loves walking to and from school with Sammy and doesn't want to ride his bike with his other friends in the neighborhood. He made it clear he enjoys those nice walks with Sammy. He also said that he feels bad when Sammy is left out of games. I told him that Sammy isn't being left out. Sammy is making the choice to not play but my son said that if anyone else doesn't want to play a game, then they can find another friend but Sammy can't do that. I emphathized with him but told him that it's not his job to make sure Sammy is always happy and always has someone to play with. Sammy can figure out how to be involved in the game or he can play by himself for a little while. My son seemed to understand but still maintained that he doesn't want to upset Sammy.We talked about maybe making a schedule to hang out with Sammy and my son liked that idea. He thought it was good since Sammy liked schedules. He decided that he wants to go to Sammy's house after school on Tuesdays because that's when they get math homework. They can do homework together and play inside for little while. Then Adam can go outside and play with his friends. Tuesdays work well since he doesn't have soccer so he can just go out after he finishes playing with Sammy and run around the neighborhood.We also decided that Sunday evenings can be Sammy evenings since we are with Sammy's family anyway to watch football. Once it gets dark the kids have to stay in the yard or house so he can play with Sammy then as well. We also do little spontaneous things with Sammy's family like walks to the beach or barbecuing in the backyard with the boys.After talking to and making sure he was on board I decided to bring it up to Sammy's mom this weekend. She was very receptive and apologetic. She said that she thought they were pushing too hard but since we didn't say anything, she wasn't sure. They are just really happy their son finally has a friend and they don't want to mess it up. I think that's something a lot of people take for granted. I worry about a lot but I don't worry about my kids making friends. Both of my boys have made tons of friends already. Sammy is 7.5 and just made his first friend. Navigating friendships is new for his parents and I think they need time to figure this out. She was happy I said something and was open to the schedule Adam and I made. She is going to share it with Sammy and let him know that this is the time that Adam will play with just him but that he can join in with the rest of the boys if he wants to continue to play with Adam and not to expect Adam to drop what he is doing anymore. We didn't get to talk much about her making her boys a package deal when my younger son heads over to play with her younger son but I think I can bring that up more this weekend. I just wanted to really start the conversation so I can bring up any concerns I have in the future and it seems like I was able to accomplish that thanks to the wonderful advice on this sub. Thanks again guys. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2NYVYKi
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