I never should have had kids

I thought I wanted kids all my life, and I was thrilled the first time I found out I was pregnant. I had a loving husband, a stable job, and a beautiful home. Everything I thought I wanted in life.I wish I could go back in time and warn myself to never stop taking birth control.My daughter is 8 now and my son is 6. The early years were impossible. I had to cut back to part time at the job I loved, permanently stunting my career. I cried constantly. Life became a blur of mind-numbing, monotonous tasks and duties. I kept hearing that things would get easier as they got older, and they did, but I never stopped regretting.I love my children so much, and I work so hard to keep my feelings hidden from them and everyone but my therapist and my sister. That’s why I’m here. I just need to finally say all this to someone.I have a sister who never wants children. I used to be in total disbelief over this. I couldn’t imagine life without children in it one day, and I was so sure she would wake up one day, alone and childless, regretting it so much. The tables have turned. Now I see her life and I almost hate her because I want it so much. She travels nonstop. Seriously, she’s been to five countries this year, which she can afford because she’s rising up in her career. She lives in an apartment in the heart of a trendy downtown area because she is in no hurry to buy a house in the suburbs. She spends her weekends with friends, going to breweries or festivals or concerts. She’s genuinely happy with her life and I’m so bitter with jealously that it hurts just to check her Facebook and see what new, fun thing she’s doing.My husband is a huge help, but it doesn’t change the fact that as much as I love my kids, I don’t love being a parent. I don’t even like it.I never should have become a mother, but there’s no taking it back now. I’m trying to be the best mom I possibly can to them, and I’m trying to carve out more time for myself, but it’s a band-aid. I’m always weighed down by my responsibilities, and even when I get away from home, all I can think about is what’s waiting for me when I return. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2P8YtG6