My ex girlfriend and the mother of my daughter disappeared from our lives 9 years ago. She just up and left without so much as a word. My daughter was 3 at the time.My ex and I were drawn to each other under tumultuous circumstances. I'm originally from Ghana, but when I was 18 I gained a scholarship at a German university. My ex is German and we met at university. We were both 20 when our daughter was born. We had a problem with drugs and alcohol.In Ghana, I grew up an orphan (parents abandoned me at birth) and lived on the streets for a while as a kid, and abusing substances helped me deal with some of the trauma from childhood. I started drinking alcohol (cheap stuff concocted on the streets of Ghana) when I was 14. I was an alcoholic by 17, but somehow, I always managed to do well in school, hence the scholarship.My ex also had a problem with substance abuse. We would wake up and start drinking at 9am, supplementing the alcohol with stuff like ecstasy and cocaine. We became pregnant (something we didn't plan) and our daughter was born when we were 20. During the pregnancy, we both gave up alcohol and drugs (I've been sober for over 13 years now). However, my ex started drinking and doing drugs again when our daughter was a little over one years old. It was a very tough time. When our baby was 3, she up and left one afternoon. Dropped off our daughter at her sister's when I was working and disappeared. For 9 years. Without a single word. Not me or anyone of her friends or family knew whether she was dead or alive.Her leaving broke my heart, but the biggest sadness I felt was for my daughter. She's my world. She's now 13 years old. She's had some issues due to the absence of her mother. After her mother left, I went back to school part time to complete my bachelor's degree. Shortly after that my daughter and I moved to England (job offer). I got married to a wonderful woman during my time in England and she has become a mother to my daughter (we are expecting twins in September). My wife has a great relationship with our daughter.We came back to Germany last year. That's when my ex, through her sister, got in contact with us. She apologised profusely and said she left because at the time, she was in the midst of a heavy drug addiction. She said she spent the last years moving from place to place while being an addict. She added she has been clean for a year now and that she wants to be in our daughter's life.As you can imagine, her reemergence was a big shock in our lives. My daughter was literally speechless for days. It hit her hard. She says she wants nothing to do with her biological mother. She has refused to see her or talk to her on the phone. She says she already has a mother, and that's my wife. I met my ex on my own and talked to her at length. I informed her of the situation but she is adamant. She says as our daughter's mother, she has a right.She is making a lot of noise about it and has even (laughably so) threatened to make matters legal. Even her own family think her demands are outrageous. All this drama is bringing my daughter down (she's hearing stuff from her cousins) and it kinda makes me wish we remained in the UK (came back to Germany due to a promotion for the international company I work for).It's an unfortunate situation that seems to rise in intensity with each week that passes. Any thoughts from you redditors is welcome. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2pW5yyp
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