My best friend and his wife lost their newborn last year. She wants to try for another, but he's not sure whether he can. Can anyone provide some insight or advice on moving forward from here?

Late last year, I received a phone call in the middle of the night from my best friend's mother. "Jaiden, do you know what's happened?""No? What's up?""You should sit down for this." She paused. Then laboriously, and choking back the pressure of an incoming cry, she said: "[Brand new baby] died."A week later, by some miracle, my family and his scraped together the cash to fly me last minute to him across the country, so I could be there to support him at the funeral. It was a dark time, and leaving the funeral home without baby in arms felt like we were forgetting something.Some time has passed since then. My friend said that it still hurts, but dealing with the pain has since become somewhat easier. He says that even when he's preoccupied, baby never really leaves his thoughts, and that he still tears up thinking about her at least once or twice a day.His spouse wishes to have another baby with him. He says he's not ready; he doesn't know if he could. He feels like it wouldn't be fair to his daughter. Like he wouldn't be able to deliver the love that he should as a parent... Not after what happened.I told him maybe that's not the case. That maybe giving love to a second child would be the closest thing to a catharsis he could achieve. That I've never heard anyone saying they don't love their current child due to the loss of a different one. He acknowledged that it's possible that a lot of people feel like that before trying again, and that another baby could bring him happiness, but he is leaning toward skepticism.I asked him to find some interviews or books or articles about the subject to help him get some perspective on how this kind of thing usually goes. He said he would, but he's practically my brother-- I already know he won't.Maybe stewing over it and decrypting his feelings would be good for him. After all, only you can know for sure how you feel.But also, maybe outside, experienced perspective would provide valuable insight for him. That's why I decided to post to this sub.With hundreds of thousands of subscribers here, some of you are bound to have experienced this before. I don't mean to ask you to dig up unpleasant experiences or reopen your wounds, but I'd like to ask for your input. From one grieving parent to another, what did you decide? What difference has it made in your life, and/or the life of the other parent?If you respond, I can't thank you enough.Jaiden via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2pV4sUu