Adopted Chinese 11yo brother-in-law is having trouble with his identity. Not sure how to go about discussing it with him.

I'm not 100% sure what I expect to gain from posting this. Any advice would certainly be helpful.First, a little background - my wife's parents split when she was a teenager. Shortly afterwards, her dad remarried a woman who survived ovarian cancer. As a result, she was unable to have children. They decided to adopt my BIL when he was 2 years old from China (about 9 years ago). My BIL is now 11yo and has recently been asking questions regarding his heritage and background, which I'm well aware is totally normal.We had my BIL over for dinner this past weekend. My FIL dropped him off and mentioned this to my wife and I. One of the things he mentioned was that my BIL is upset over the fact that he is different. Specifically, he has been saying things like "why is my skin darker?" (he gets really tan), "I want to be white", "why are my eyes different?", "how come I don't look like everyone else in our family?" etc.My FIL has never had a way with words. He didn't directly ask us, but I'm pretty sure that him bringing this up was his way of asking for help with discussing the subject with my BIL.We tried explaining the concept of family to him and how all families are different, but I'm not sure how much it helped. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Any parents that were adopted or have adopted have any advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qNclvy