Husband wants more kids, I don’t. Anyone else go through this?

My husband and I had an accidental pregnancy that resulted in our beautiful one year old son. We both grew up so much with that little accident, and it’s really changed our lives. When my husband and I first got together, we both agreed on ~3 children (we negotiated, I wanted 2 and he wanted 5). We agreed on fostering in between two biological children, and hopefully adopting, since this has always been a huge calling for both of us. Of course, I know plans are laughable when having children, but that was our “dream” family situation.Then, I had my son. It was a scary and really awful birth (9 lb 11 oz baby, 32 hours of labor, 3 induction methods, tearing through muscle, the whole 9 yards). I still have neurological pain from one of my tears because it didn’t heal properly. On top of the physical trauma, the first year of my son’s life was really hard. My milk supply never came in, I felt inadequate, my existing anxiety problems always made me feel like a bad mom, and staying home all day with him was just miserable. I felt so trapped and isolated. Now that he’s walking and doing more things, it’s getting better, but if I never have to do that potato phase again where they take take take, I will be just fine. Also, I should mention, I feel like I got pregnant really young, and missed out on doing fun things with my husband. We can’t afford to leave our son and go on romantic getaways. The baby always comes first. I can’t lie and say I haven’t been pretty bitter about that.My husband is simply wonderful, such a good father, and doesn’t ever pressure me for more. But when we talk about it, I can sense his disappointment in never having another bio child. He has told me at the very least, if we decide to have another, he wouldn’t want me to get pregnant until we can figure out a way to treat the existing pain I have. He says adopting more than one would be just fine, but I can tell he’s not happy with that.Did you all go through this with your spouses? Anyone have a really traumatic birth that scared them from having anymore? Did you change your mind with time? All I know is when I see a newborn, my first reaction is “thank god that’s not my child!” via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2HtkwEf