Wednesday, 28 February 2018

Family vacation problems, Advice? Sorry long post


I am going away with family over spring break, we are all renting cabins to unwind and relax for a couple of days. My sister has a 1 1/2 year old and a 7 year old. I have a 10 year old. There are only 2 bedroom cabins available for my sister so she has asked if her 7 year old son could stay with my son in his room in our cabin.Without going into too much detail ( although It's hard), her son has some behavioural problems and is just a very hyper active child but is nice and I love him. My son is the complete opposite. My son is a victim of emotional and psychological abuse from his dad and step mom. He has half siblings there and they have alot of family problems there. Unfortunately my nephew is similar to my sons half sister in some ways and honestly is a hard child to be around for long periods of time. They don't always get along the best because my son starts to take his anger and sadness out on my nephew when my nephew is acting up that stems from the problems at his dad's. All these issues that my sister and I are trying to work on and help them with, but it takes time. My son has really been through alot in his life. My sister and I are also very different and she gets very stressed easily. My partner and I already said that if she is getting stressed and mean we would just separate ourselves from the situation in order for us to enjoy ourselves and for things to calm down. We have had some family fights during get togethers and I'm trying to work on ways to avoid this and not let it ruin the time.I said no to my sister for him to stay the nights in our cabin. 1, because I know my son wouldn't like it, although he would put a smile on and deal with it. It goes against everything we are trying to help him with and that is that he has the right to have feelings and he has the right to say no, or the right to not like something. Because of the abuse at his dad's all those things have been taken from him and we try and help him see these things. He is an extremely none selfish kid. He would do anything asked of him even if it made him miserable. 2, because my partner and I, honestly don't want him staying with us either. I understand some people might thing this sounds cruel. But we are also looking forward to quiet time with our son and ourselves as well.Now I'm worried I'm not being considerate of my sister. But she has a full cabin with 2 rooms, I can't understand why her boys can't share a room or the 1 1/2 year old can't sleep in her room or something. She says she is worried about him sleeping. But what about if she were to stay in a hotel, which we were gonna do before staying in cabins. She would have had no choice but to sleep in same room.I also decided to leave it up to my son. If he said that would be fine and fun I would say yes. I simply told him about our plan to rent a cabin etc, and asked him if he would like his cousin to spend the night with him, before i could even finish he said No, Pls no, I won't be able to sleep. My son gets very drained after spending time with him, and I know it stems from the problems he has at his dad's, and with his other siblings. They are not usual sibling problems he is experiencing there. So I'm not trying to be mean to my sister I just honestly am trying to think about "us" for once. We never go away and do things like this so we are really looking forward to quiet time away from home.This has become a huge deal with my family now and my mom and I got into an argument yesterday over this as she thinks I'm not being considerate. Even my mom knows and agrees about my nephews behaviour and that it is hard to be around for long periods of time. He's my nephew I love him more then anything. Thoughts? 😕 via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2HQlGtA

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