I will be as succinct as possible but there's some necessary background:My family of 4 lives abroad, currently we are in the Middle EastMy husband is a high school administrator working at an international schoolMy son is attending a British International school and is in Year 1, in a bilingual French/English programHe has changed preschhools/schools every year since he was 2 years old.I also work at the schoolI am freaking out. My son has always LOVED learning and thrived in nursery. When we moved him to the British school for pre-k 4, it was much more academic than I think is appropriate but my son was really happy and LOVED it, made friends, etc.Now we moved campuses for him to partake in a bilingual program. My son is very bright and needs the stimulation so I thought it would be good for him.Adjusting to KG/Year 1 has been a disaster. He hates school, begs me not to take him, and although he does have a friend group he's not particularly close with any of the boys or girls.This year all I hear from his teachers are about his behavioral issues in class: he is not focused, wastes time chatting, is actively disruptive (usually by silliness and inappropriate behavior), and doesn't do his work. On his worst days he acts out negatively to get the negative reaction.The first few weeks he would get in the car and cry and say "my heart is breaking" every day after school. I almost pulled him out, but then things seemed to be getting better so I thought I'd give it a chance.His teachers say that of the non-native French speakers, his language acquisition is the most advanced in his class. In addition, his English vocabulary is more rich and advanced than his native-English peers. He is keen on numbers and is quick to make connections, always has interesting and relevant things to share during social studies lessons, etc. That being said, his spelling isn't the best nor is his reading, but that's mostly because I stopped pushing academics after school this year to avoid having him hate school even more. I read chapter books to him and we read 2 phonics books per week. This is far below the average for the other children in the class, but it's what I can do to avoid screaming fits.This is my dilemma. We are staying in this country for one more academic school year, and then we will be leaving. Prior to his school troubles, we were 100% on board for taking another international contract. Now, I am freaking out and I'm not so sure.If I move him to the American school for next year, we will move him AGAIN at the end of the year because we are leaving the country. Should I keep him where he is for stability?If I move him out of the bilingual program to teachers that are better equipped to deal with him, he may be happier--but why should he have to be denied an opportunity that he is perfectly capable of achieving?Part of me feels like school just pathologizes boyhood. He is 6 years old--no wonder he doesn't want to sit at the carpet for 45 minutes and then do desk work all day!The classroom is far too small for the number of children in the room. It's a travesty. They have no room to move around, and their desks are in rows.He gets points taken off for his behavior like inattentiveness, but if he can't CONTROL this why is he getting punished for it? I emphasized positive, positive, positive reinforcement but the teachers were very resistant to removing SOME (NOT ALL) of the negative consequences because it wouldn't be fair to the other kids. But I know how his mind works: if he works hard to get a point for being on task and gets another point for good listening, he feels good about himself. But then later in the day if he does X behavior, the point gets taken away. So why bother?His teacher said she didn't think he had ADHD because when she sits next to him he focuses on his work. I had to tell her this is one of the most common intervention strategies for ADHD: proximity to a teacher when appropriate.We are getting him evaluated and will have results in a few weeks. I feel like my son will be a perpetual misfit, constantly derided by his exasperated teachers, constantly getting negative feedback at school for not conforming to unrealistic behavior protocols. I don't WANT my kid sitting in a fucking desk all day.I work in a classroom of the same grade and the curriculum is very rigid and there is a lot of desk-work. I strongly disagree with this.If we move back to the US, how on earth can we find good schools in zip codes we can actually afford to live???? I stay up at night obsessing over this problem. My husband is a high school educator, okay? We will never be rich. If I want my kid to go to a well-resourced school with teachers appropriately trained to deal with ADHD or other issues, we need to live in the same zip code. But we can't afford the houses in dozens of cities around the country! WHAT DO WE DO?I can't pay $500,000 for a house when my husband's income is $75,000. That's just beyond irresponsible to me.How do you advocate for your ADHD child and find a learning environment suitable to their needs?I fear that moving internationally again will get us stuck in another school that, while prestigious, isn't a good fit for him and cause him further suffering.On the other hand, my kids benefit from being world citizens and learning other languages. If we stay abroad, they could potentially go to university outside the US which would be affordable for our family. What an asset for their future!HOW DO WE ATTACK THIS ISSUE WITHOUT ALIENATING HIS TEACHERS? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2HDFNem
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