My preschooler hates me and I don't know what to do anymore.

As the title says my son hates me. I know people are going to tell me that this is a phase but it has been going on since he was an infant. He is now going on 5. I know that the post is going to make me sound like a terrible person. There is nothing you can say that I haven't already thought about myself.I am a single mom by choice. I know I know. That makes me a selfish bitch but I wanted to be a mom. My son was placed with me at 4 months. I am a working mom (again I know what you're thinking) and had to put my son in daycare. He did well at daycare but did nothing but cry at home. Nothing I did worked. Someone else would take him and he would shut up. I took more parenting classes and tried those techniques. They rarely worked.Then he became a toddler and the behavior continued. His preschool teachers have never had complaints but he is a terror at home. For a while he was potty trained at school but not at home. He sat in time out at school but screamed at home. I followed the same routine but he would kick me and punch me if I tried to put him in time out. He would run from me at stores and in parking lots. He stopped eating dinner for a week because I wouldn't give him hotdogs.His behavior has started to turn more violent. He hits me a lot and doesn't listen to a thing I say. We are working with a therapist but she doesn't believe all of his behaviors because he doesn't act that way in front of her. He is an angel at therapy and in school. They don't see it. Our last two therapist didnt either. He loves guns and they tell me it is normal boy behavior but they don't see how he plays with them. He plays differently there. He is obsessed with death and tells me to die. He knows what it means.He is very smart. He is acamdeically ahead but socially behind. He can talk to kids but prefers to be alone. At home he doesn't let me play with him. I hear stories of kids who don't let their parents be alone and I wish that was us. He doesn't care that I'm even here. He rarely lets me hug or kiss him. He doesnt mind hugs or kisses from other family members though. I think he knows that he can manipulate people and I'm sure he hates me. I don't know why. I know I'm not perfect but I have always tried. I'm tired of trying. I take the long way to his preschool and think about running away from all of this often. I love my son but he hates me. I don't know what to do or how to repair our broken relationship. I get all of the blame but none of the help. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2CCFYmH