Friday, 21 April 2017

Need help with something our 4-year-old said about daycare...


Our 4-year-old goes to a home daycare, run by a husband and wife and with another caretaker there. He's been there for about a year, maybe a little longer.Today I came home from work and I asked him how his day was, and he told me it wasn't good. This surprised my wife, who had been told by the providers that he had a good day. When I asked what happened, he said "I laughed at [other child], and I went in the closet, and I went out of the closet, and [provider] put me in the closet, and [she] let me out. And [she] pulled my hair."I asked him to elaborate a little, and the further details I got were "I laughed at [other child] when he got in trouble" and that the closet was in the providers' bedroom (not a place the kids would normally be AFAIK - but he did first say "I don't know"), and when I asked if he went in the closet by himself he told me that "[provider] put me there, and I calmed down, and I yelled if I can come out, and she let me out" (and again he repeated the brief mention of hair-pulling - followed by a description of going outside, coming back in, getting water, getting crackers...).Now, on the one hand, 4-year-olds are not good historians. I know this. My child in particular has demonstrated this to me in the past. He's had a problem with saying that one child hit him (for example) when another child did, or just totally misrepresenting things that an adult has watched happen. And he makes up stories for sure - like one about the mailman bringing us a Christmas tree (note: it came from the shed), which he repeated for quite a while.And on that same hand, he didn't act upset about it. Normally I'd expect him to - when he tells me about getting in trouble, he gets really, like, I'm going to hang my head, talk kind of low and mumbly, that kind of thing, very negative. But this was just pretty matter-of-fact. And he seems completely normal and happy this evening.On the other hand, the provider in question gets a little bit aggressive sometimes, and her husband is a little bit weird. And so I don't feel 100% comfortable, you know?He's starting a new daycare the Monday after this coming one. And we have a pretty good relationship with these people. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I also don't want to discount the possibility that this is literally exactly what happened, in which case, what the fuck? (Although I'm not so worried about the "pulled my hair" part, as that could super easily be an accidental thing that he's misrepresenting because, duh, he's 4.)Thoughts? Opinions? Help? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ovHwZb

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