Original Here http://ift.tt/2pJaLM4 First Update Here http://ift.tt/2p4jrd3 to everyone for your insightful comments before. This update has very little to do with parenting, so mods, please feel free to remove.First, I know most of you advised to stop pushing and let it go. But I’m a lawyer (and maybe a little overbearing in general), and I like to resolve things. When it comes to interpersonal issues with the people I love, I want them fixed and fixed quickly. Another reason I kept asking was for my husband. He loves his brother and he’s pretty sentimental around the holidays. I know he would be crushed if BIL/SIL/nephew weren’t around this Thanksgiving. It’s also for his parents. They’re quite a bit older (they’re in their 80’s) and I had this sinking feeling that they don’t have very many holidays left with their kids and grandkids, so it was best to try to keep the family together.But mostly, I hated to leave my conversation with SIL the way we did. First, I realized (with your help) that I might have been willfully ignorant of how hard air travel would be for them. I did some mental math and 3 transcontinental tickets at that time of year is probably more than their rent for the month. Add to that the fact that she might be worried about nephew breaking something in our house and not being able to replace it (which, for the record, we would never ask her to do), and I felt absolutely awful. To add some more background, we’ve never been especially close. My husband is 7 years older than I am, and she’s 5 years older than him, so there’s a pretty significant age and experience gap. We never bonded like some in-laws do. We’re perfectly cordial, but sometimes I find myself desperately wanting her to like me. I realize this is probably a byproduct of that.On to the resolution. My mom brought up a good point: we don’t need to have Thanksgiving at our place. My parents are always down to travel, and the only reason we were doing it here is because they couldn’t make our usual Christmas plan work. So why not just have Thanksgiving closer to where BIL/SIL/nephew/their parents live? Not at BIL/SIL’s house, because it would be rude to invite my parents along, but a place to which they could travel easily, without airports or any real hassle. I talked it over with husband and he thought it was a great idea.So we reserved a big cabin on a lake about 30 mins from his parents and 2.5 hours by car from his SIL and BIL. It has enough room for my family and his, plus a playroom for the kids, a hot tub, plenty of outdoor activities, and a fire pit. Additionally, the dates I was going to put BIL/SIL/nephew up in a hotel near us were blacked out so I couldn’t use my hotel points, so this actually ends up being cheaper! We decided to use the money we’re saving by not traveling with my family over Christmas to get a caterer and a cleaning service, so most importantly, EVERYONE CAN RELAX!My husband proposed the plan to BIL and SIL over the phone and they sounded really excited!! No mention of the safety or kidproofing of the house (we're letting that go). They offered to bring up some toys for the kids and swing through town and pick up their parents so they wouldn’t need to drive. My parents are going to ship out some wine and rent a car to get take us to-and-from the airport.I am overjoyed. I am hoping this is the thing that finally gets my SIL to realize that I care very much about her and her family, even though we don’t have much in common. But most importantly, my daughter gets to see her cousin, my husband gets to see his brother and parents, and I get to have my parents around for the holiday. Now I just need to talk my sister into spending Thanksgiving in the Midwest, so wish me luck!Tl;Dr: We didn’t need to host at all. Taking the party (closer) to them, and everything worked out fine! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2p8egef
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