So, I feel like I just need to vent this out. I get frustrated every time I have to deal with these people although I'm sure they have the best intentions.A bit of backstory first. My wife lost her parents before she was 10 years old. Then she was raised by her Aunt and Uncle, these are the grandparents I'm referring to. She has always told me she was treated like a red-headed step child. Including extreme favoritism shown to her Aunt's daughter and son over my wife, groundings lasting nearly 6 months because my wife watched tv after bedtime, among other rude comments and verbal abuse her Aunt gives out. All while being extremely lenient with her two biological children. By this I mean her son swearing at her and never receiving any punishment and her daughter stealing from her.I just mention this stuff because I feel like it's important. I never actually believed it until I really got to know her side of the family. I figured, eh, I'm sure my wife just exaggerated since she was the youngest she probably thought everything was unfair. I grew up in a very lenient home so it was harder for me to believe furthermore.Fast forward a few years after my wife and I are together. I notice her Aunt and Uncle are nice wealthy people but they just seem off. We wouldn't get invited to things, I notice the rude comments her Aunt makes to my wife, and her entire family had a complete lack of interest in myself. I've always tried to be polite and humble with them but at some points, I would just be blatantly ignored. For example, hearing an open conversation getting a getting a glance and being ignored when I try to chip in. I shrug it off but I remember these things.My wife's deceased mother and father were never wealthy and nor was my family. I would say I was raised in a lower middle class family. We never had a lot of money but we got along just fine. Her Aunt owns her own hair business and her Uncle is an electrical engineer. They live in a half million dollar home in a wealthier area in our area. So, I've always assumed that it's because they have money. It happens. Whatever, I don't care I just have to deal with these people on holidays and occasional dinners.So, my wife and I are married now and we have our wonderful 2yr old son. Her aunt and uncle were there when my wife gave birth. Afterward, I would be lying if I say they saw him more than 3 times that following year. Same thing the next year. At family get-togethers and dinner's we're still the odd ones out but now we have a child. We get our initial, "oh, he's so precious" "he's a beautiful boy" etc.Their house although a very big house was extremely child unfriendly. I was so used to holding my son the entire time I was there because there's glass coffee tables, sharp edges, a wine rack, not to mention their aggressive dogs. They have a husky and a rottweiler but of which are very old and not friendly at all. Every time we're at their house they never put their dogs away. There was one time where the rottweiler snapped at my son and I grabbed my son and we didn't go back there for nearly 6 months. This was nearly my breaking point with these people. Even though we've asked plenty of times to please put them in your bedroom. When we finally went back her Aunt has the fucking gall to say, "well you should have just asked us to put them away".Finally, there's today. Her aunt and uncle like to take our son to see santa claus, the easter bunny, and breakfast afterward. Once again, this is only every three or four months. Granted, I will give them credit because they have reached out a little more to us about having a part in our sons life. Anyway. It's 7am, my son is sleepy and he's just snacking on fruit snacks because he's going to breakfast within the next hour. Grandparents get here and come inside even though I told them I would be out front waiting for them. Have you ever gotten that feeling when you know you're being immediately judged by someone? Yeah, I got that feeling. My wife and I live in a little 2 bedroom duplex. It's small but it's perfect for us at the moment and it's cost effective. They just look around and I can see by their face just how much they're judging me. So, my son goes into a full blown tantrum. Screaming, crying, snot running down his nose, etc. The grandparents look shocked and say well if there's something wrong we can just leave and try another time. I wanted to just scream at them. Like, if you ever fucking came around my son wouldn't be this upset right now. He wouldn't be screaming because he doesn't really even know you people. We have to tell him over and over to call them Me-me and Pa-pa but he doesn't because he never sees them. Finally, the Aunt says just get him in the car seat and I'm sure he'll be fine once we get driving. Ok. This entire time her Uncle has wide eyes like he's never seen a child crying before. Which to his credit he hasn't. My wife's aunt remarried and although her Uncle wanted to have children he never has. Even though he more or less helped raise my wife's aunt's children.I really want them to have a part of my son's life. But, jesus, they make it so hard. Sorry this is so long I just really needed to get this out. My wife more or less feels the same way as I do. We tolerate them but we do want them to have a part in our sons life. Does anyone have any advice for me? How do you deal with ignorant grandparents who never come around? When they do come around they expect my son to treat them like he sees them every day. For reference when my son goes to my mothers house there's never an issue. He gets excited every time we ask if he wants to go see Nunna. It's only with my wife's aunt and uncle.edit: I apologize for spelling errors and bad grammar. I typed this a little hastily with my coffee. I corrected a few but I'm sure there's more. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2of7n8A
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