Conflicted about when to go back to work

Hi all,Sorry about wall of text, TL;DR at bottom.Disclaimer: I don't underestimate how lucky I am to have had a far more extended leave than many on this sub have access to, and the fact I have the option to take more and work part time is also fortunate. I advise parents with limited leave and/or forced return to work dates to skip this post because you might want to punch me! And my heart goes out to you- I hope your situation changes and you have access to more leave in the future.I am a FTM and have missed work during my whole maternity leave. I love my job- the work and the people. I love being with my LO, but really look forward to the infrequent times where I can eat a hot meal in silence, talk to people without having to bounce or feed her, or feel guilty because she gets so excited if I smile at her that it seems wrong to do anything else. I have been keeping up with my work projects and felt insanely jealous of the exciting things that have been happening, particularly with my long term projects I had to hand over.We have an unstable income because my husband works a sales job, so when estimating my return to work date I chose the one which we could do based on just my paid leave and savings. It means I'm due to go back three days a week in June when LO will be 9 months old (7 corrected because she was a preemie). My husband has had a few good months commission wise, so we've just worked out I could comfortably delay my return to work until August, or possibly September if he keeps it up. While it might be annoying for my team, I work in a large organisation that would have no trouble covering for me if I let them know soon.Until the last few days I've felt good about maintaining my start date, for the reasons above. And because I do find the childcare both the most delightful thing and incredibly draining. Particularly as my husband works six days a week, and regularly 10-12 hour days. I am very tired by the end of a few long days, and get pretty frustrated about having to be 'on' all the time. I definitely don't have PPD- my mental health is monitored and I am definitely enjoying my time with LO more than not. We have limited extra support- so I think the sheer volume of time where I am solely responsible probably makes me idealise the break and intellectual stimulation I will get at work. LO will be with husband and my sister the days I work, so I don't have the typical daycare guilt which is lucky.As the date draws closer I'm feeling more conflicted. I feel unnatural about wanting to go back (every other mother I know is doing everything they can to delay their return, and most around me take the full 12 months). My whole team has changed at work so while the content will still be exciting, I might not get the exact social interaction I'm missing.As much as I have spent all this time missing work, and looking forward to all the benefits of my return- I'm scared I will live to regret giving up this time. We are one and done for a host of health reasons, so this will be my only extended leave. But I will have already taken 9 months- significantly more that most people on here and have spent most of my leave looking forward to returning, so not sure if this is just a bout of cold feet.I'm just looking for anyone who might have been in a similar position, or working parents who enjoy their work (as opposed to just being financially obligated to go back) and how their return to work went.Thanks very much.TL;DR I miss work and find SAHM life draining, but now have the option to take more time. Will I regret going back early? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2nveOvb